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What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

Discussion in 'Tom and Katie' started by blownforgood, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. blownforgood Member

    What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Here are some fun facts and prelude to this season premiere episode that airs this Sunday on Showtime.

    For those of you who don’t already watch the show, I will catch you up on what has happened so far.

    The main character played by David Duchovny, Hank Moody wrote a book called “God Hates Us All.” That book was turned into a movie called “A Crazy Little Thing Called Love” that just happens to star Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as the main stars. Hank mentions that he cannot stand the main actor in the movie while on set the Director states that “Tom could tuck and do the pee pee dance and I would still love him.” More on that later.

    Weeks after the movie is shot, Hank is at a dinner party and one of the women there has just found out that her husband is gay. Hearing this, Hank attempts to console her offering, ”Instead of finding out he was gay, you could have found out he was a scientologist or something like that.” She answers, “I am a scientologist Hank!” What else can Hank do but to get her drunk and screw her brains out in one of the upstairs bedrooms and while thrusting ask, “Are you Clear yet?” Turns out she wasn’t. She ends up puking all over the bed and a painting that Hanks shields his junk with and that’s the last we see of the vomiting Scilon until a few episodes later.

    The Scilon in the show later ends up hooking up with this self help guru that has a bestseller that deals with finding the “artist within”. They then find out that she is pregnant with what is thought to be Hank’s baby, but it turns out to be black and Hank is off the hook.

    Now for what’s to come. This Sunday you will watch the season premiere of the show and I am going to tell you about some of the things you will see.

    1. You will see the pee pee dance mentioned above in Season One and you will be shocked and most likely laugh your ass off.

    2. The person doing the pee pee dance might surprise you.

    3. Realize that while you watch the dance and all that takes place at that house in the episode, that house was Tom Cruise’s house IN REAL LIFE.

    4. You will be amazed at the agility and olympic diving ability of the pee pee dancer.

    Is Californication done poking fun at Tom and Katie? I hope not. It is too damn funny to imagine the looks on their faces when they hear about this stuff.

    Until next time…

    BFG


    P.S. 40 days and nights until the BFG book comes out – make sure you pre-order a copy before then. All the people that pre-order will be able to get a discount on the book if they get it before it officially goes on sale.

    Official Site for BlownForGood - Stories of people who have left Scientology
  2. amaX Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I guess there's no chance for you to go ahead and tell those of us who don't get Showtime the rest of the story?
  3. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    The beans have already been spilled by the guest appearance....
    But I will not mention it here ;)
  4. LocalSP Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I bet it's Beghe doing the PeePee dance. We know he's a good friend of Duchovny.
    IMDB don't lie.
  5. blownforgood Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I am sure that the scene will be up on youtube monday.
    BFG
  6. Optimisticate Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Came for the Duchovny, stayed for the Cruise?
  7. Anon1720 Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    CAN NOT WAIT!
  8. Zak McKracken Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    When they *do* adapt it to the big screen,
    any chance we can get Duchovny to play the Dwarf?
    Not everybody could, but *he* I think, could pull it off convincingly.

    Maybe odd camera angles and oversized sets to make him look smaller...
  9. fitch2000 Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    lmao

    i don't watch tv but think that would be sooo worth it, if i had showtime lol
  10. peterstorm Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Can I get an autographed copy good Sir?
  11. JohnnyRUClear Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Ugh.

    Reading that plot description reminds me of one reason why I don't watch TV any more.

    Moralfaggy disgust aside, thanks for the heads-up, BFG.
  12. OpThetXVI Member

  13. Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    That would be the coolest.
  14. Anonymous Member

  15. RightOn Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    my first thought was Beghe.

    not to derail... but remember when Begehe said that he and Duchovny were talkling about COS after Beghe blew and he was telling Duchovny all about COS and Beghe said they were laughing so hard about it?

    gee. that line sounds like Chris Farley... when he used to say "remember when"... and then he would say "that was awesone"

    oh well, anyways yup my guess is Duchovny
  16. Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    /r/ Duchovny Fucks A Scientologist video.
  17. Anonymous Member

  18. moarxenu Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I just alerted Andrew Breitbart's bighollywood.com
  19. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Wait I'm supposed to believe that Tom Cruise let an SP film crew shoot in his IRL house. And his housekeepers / staff (probably scilons) let Beghe into his house to film an episode that makes fun of Tom Cruise?

    Is he that hard up for money??
  20. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    [spoiler] Jason-Californication.jpg [/spoiler]
  21. auchraw Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I am not allowed to view this video because of my current location. Web censorship rules OK.
  22. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    lrn2internets

    [mod]link removed, user was warned for this post[/mod]
  23. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Lrn2 proxy.
  24. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    pee pee dance is at 21m15s

    It is something... And he moralfag'd about agent pubit...
  25. Optimisticate Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    What next? Marty Rathbun with a bit part in it? Sorry, can't help contribute to this show's ratings. Actually, that pretty much includes anything with Beghe or his scilon buddies.
  26. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    FYI, episodes 1 and 2 of the new series have been out on "The Scene" for the last two weeks if you know where to look.

    I saw these two eps about 10 days ago, and they are f*cking hilarious!
  27. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    That's quality.
  28. amaX Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Fuck Beghe.
  29. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    RAWR, Beghe is built.
  30. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Jason Beghe will play Richard Bates

    casting description
    "[PROFESSOR RICHARD BATES] 50's, this pretentious writer/professor joins Hank and Felicia for a dinner party where Hank unknowingly encourages him to fall off the wagon by having a drink. One drink turns into many as the party dissolves into utter chaos, mainly caused by the professor's drunken antics. Please submit all ethnicities. Some tasteful nudity required."
  31. Anonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Fucked or not, I've got a damn sight more respect for him than I have for you.



    Nice vid btw.

    Would love to be a fly on the wall if/when Tommyboy gets to hear about it. :)
  32. Vir Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    ngzvy1.jpg

    Oh lordy, this is hilarious. The depopularization efforts are getting more and more unbelievable. I can understand why people are apprehensive of Rathbun, but when Jason Beghe and Geir Isene are treated as SPs by some here I can't help but imitate agent Smith in the image above. Beghe and Isene haven't even been officially declared by the CoS yet (although their scilon friends have been told to disconnect from them), so it's funny/sad to see that some of "us" treat them at least as badly as the CoS does.

    It's also hilarious that a few people were personally hurt and sad when Beghe didn't like the agent pubeit stunt. That attitude is for hippies, not for the final bosses of the internet - (wo)man up you guys.
  33. JohnnyRUClear Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    I'm somewhat withholding judgement on Beghe until I see whether his friendship with Marty AngerRab will trump his decency w/r to one Mr. Gerry Armstrong (and every other "little guy" victim of OSA). His WBM interview was tremendous, but there are still some things to rectify.
  34. Dog Duke Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Dog Duke and the Big Blue Squirrel have spoken to Jason Beghe. Jason Beghe says that this Sunday night Californication is the best show to be watching on television. Three big woofs for Jason!
  35. Anonymous Member

  36. moreanonymous Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    It's not really a spoiler, they've been hyping the scene all over Showtime for a couple weeks now...
  37. amaX Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Oh, I'm crushed. Someone on the internet doesn't like me.

    "SP's by some here"? I'm not a Scientologist. I never was a Scientologist. I don't categorize someone as an SP. I stay away from Scientology-speak as much as possible.

    Beghe left the cult in a big way. "Show me a motherfucking clear!" He was pissed at the cult and all the time he'd wasted in the cult. Beghe said and did things that helped educate the public about what really goes on in this cult. Beghe didn't have a problem with Anonymous and Anonymous didn't have a problem with him.

    Then Beghe started hanging out with his buddy Rathbun. Manly pix of them with their arms on each other's shoulders with a nice sunset in the background.

    Then Agent Pubeit did his thing and most of us LOL'd. Beghe thought it was horrible. He made sure to dress us down and tell us that we actually should stop doing everything that we're doing because this fight is over. Back off.

    Well, fuck Beghe. The job is not done and if egofagging Beghe thought he was going to stop us in our tracks, he sure thought wrong. I'm not "personally hurt". I'm pissed. So, why don't you "man the fuck up" and stop using kid gloves on an asshole like Beghe who thinks he's a big star who can tell us what to do. Here's hoping your balls drop soon.
  38. Vir Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Well you're sure doing your best imitating their talk of how you can't tolerate Beghe and want to boycott him not because of crimes he is committing but because he doesn't agree with you 100% on everything and is connected to Rathbun.

    And? Should we somehow disconnect from Jason Beghe because he's connected to Rathbun? I don't get the reasoning here. It's not a given that they completely agree with each other on everything. If I recall correctly, Beghe considers Scientology basically a fraud, with a few good things in it, and I haven't seen him recant that view. Rathbun takes a different view, where LRH was great, the tech is mostly good but corrupted by DM. Geir Isene's view seems to be somewhere in between, where there is lots of good in the tech, but the CoS probably was corrupted from the beginning, and that LRH might have been a very flawed person but that dwelling on those flaws is an ad hominem.

    Disclaimer here that I haven't been religiously reading the comment fields at Rathbun's blog, so I might be slightly incorrect in my approximation.

    The point remains that they seem to have quite different views about the tech and LRH, but they get along politely.

    Please read it again. He said that Anonymous had won the fight for the internet, and suggested a change in tactics in further actions against the CoS, namely that of dropping anonymity to show it that you're not afraid. Most people did not agree with that change of tactics, but Beghe did not tell us to end Chanology forever.
    Mark Bunker also called the pube stunt guys "dopes", oh noes boycott Mark Bunker!

    See above. He suggested a change in tactics, a new phase in the battle, not that we give up.

    I meant "personally hurt" as in "personally offended" which is the same as being pissed, right?

    Man up and start boycotting a TV show based on some flimsy guilt by association - a TV show which makes fun of Tom Cruise and Scientology, and stars two of the people in Hollywood whom the Church of Scientology hates the most? If by manning up you mean to start being so irrational, I'll reserve the right to take offense at the implication that becoming more manly means to throw reason to the curb.

    What I meant by (wo)maning up is that if you want to do outrageous things, you shouldn't go all emo when people complain about what you've done - you should enjoy it. Or, depending on the situation, you might decide you went too far and engage in a little troll's remorse.

    1y4h36.jpg
  39. amaX Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?


    Disconnection. Another Sci-term. I am not disconnecting from Beghe. I'm just not kissing his ass. If you want to kiss his ass and hang on his every word that's your right. I'll reserve my compassion for the people who have really been hurt by this cult---not just ripped off financially. You know---the one's that are still enslaved? The kids?

    LOL @ Rathbun or Jason "Show me a motherfucking clear!" Beghe being polite gentlemen. Let them buddy up. I don't care what they do as long as they don't try to discredit what we're doing or try to tell us what to do.


    LOL I have my reasons for not being a Wise Beard Man fan. No need for details. Just go ahead and hate my guts even more.

    It ain't broke. No need to fix it. No need to back off and we haven't won this yet.


    You may think they're the same thing, but I think being "personally hurt" means that you're sitting around crushed and bawwwwing.


    Did I say to boycott the fucking show? If I had Showtime I'd watch it just so I could laugh at Beghe acting out a scene that sounds like it gives Agent Pubeit a run for his money. I will watch the damned thing when someone posts a link to it that I don't have to sign up for like the one that was posted ITT.
  40. Herro Member

    Re: What do Tom Cruise and Californication have in common?

    Do you do anything other than puffing your chest out and trying to act like a badass?

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