Heads up: this will be the postgame thread for all the Clearwater protests from now until next Saturday. Stay tuned! Saturday, December 8th Scientology has this thing in Clearwater. They call it the Winter Wonderland. Every year, on cult property, they hold their own little "festival" with pony rides and petting zoos and volunteer ministers. And a hot chocolate house.See, we know there's a hot chocolate house this year because we saw it. Oh yes. Because we're totally badass ninjas, we stealthed our way inside Scientology's vaunted Wonderland, gathering all sorts of free shit and taking advantage of wonderful photo ops. It wasn't until we were most of the way through the festival property that we had the misfortune of running into a Flag Security Officer. So Darth Xander and I can now proudly claim to have been thrown off Scientology property by a pair of security guards. It was *AWESOME*. ^I like how they had to reuse the same sign from six years ago. Lern2whiteout, people. Of course, we planned for this possibility, and returned five minutes later with signs and Guy Fawkes masks in hand, to raid the shit out of that place. But because he's a total fucking asshole, Xander bailed five minutes into the protest. YOU HEAR ME, XANDER? YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. YOU DITCHED RAIDING IN FAVOR OF PUTTING FOOD IN YOUR FACE. YOU ARE A BAD ANON. NEVER FORGET THAT.Anyway. I was having none of that shit. So instead of pussying out and getting a coffee like SOMEONE wanted me to, I soloraided the remaining two hours until the event closed. And it was *awesome*. YOU HEAR ME, XANDER? IT WAS AWESOME.Some highlights:+ I had four, count 'em, FOUR families that started to enter the gates, saw me, saw that I said it was a Scientology event, and turned around and left.+ Two ADDITIONAL families went "Oh shit, this is a Scientology thing?" went inside to see the L Ron Hubbard sign I pointed out as proof, and then immediately turned around and left.+ Of the remaining guests that were not openly and blatantly Scientologists, I'd say a solid 70% of them came out of the event afterwards and either gave me a thumbs up or outright told me they agreed with me.+ Of that 70%, probably 40% of them said something along the lines of "Oh I saw you outside on my way in and assumed you were just some crazy person, but as soon as I got inside they started trying to sell me Scientology books and I went 'OMG THAT GIRL WAS RIGHT'."+ A few favorite guests include the guy that insisted I highfive him and the family that said they should join me in protesting because it was so totally creepy and cult-like inside.Also, I got heckled by a pair of ten year olds. No, seriously. I had them pegged as scilons the second I saw them (what normal kid attends a christmas fair in a suit?), because they spent twenty minutes standing across the driveway from me whispering frantically to each other. Then they walk over to me and go "You're protesting Scientology, right? What's with the mask?" to which I give the standard Fair Game minispeech. They go back to their corner and whisper frantically some more. Then they come back over, all attempted thuggish, pull doublecross necklaces out of their shirt collars with a "sup bitch, we scientologists" or some shit like that...and then keep walking until they're waaaay far away from me. Like a block away. Because true gangstas are afraid of short chicks. They then cross the road, and from the other side of the street shout "yo, we scientologists, peace!" or some shit like that until they get bored and go home and do whatever it is obnoxious little ten year old shitheads do. Lol, come back when you're old enough to pay for your own courses, punks.I got one "OMG YOU'RE A BIGOT," one "WON'T YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN," and one "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PROTESTING A FAMILY EVENT," all from people who were openly scientologists. I was actually expecting more WONT YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN. Clearwater, I am pleasantly surprised.Police showed up for like twenty minutes, came over, asked me if I knew what I was and was not legally allowed to do, and when I said of course, they promptly left. Sarah Heller, High Queen of Secretaries and Menial Laborers put in an appearance, as did Peter Mansell, OSAfag and Sheeplover Extraordinaire. Neither had the balls to attempt any confront and shatter, and both ran away pretty immediately after the police left. FlagSec Blondie's fangirls (all one of them) will be pleased to know he was manning the gates after the protest started. Also, I know horses, and their ponyride ponies were not being properly cared for. You can't have a horse wear a saddle without proper padding underneath the tack, fucktards, and you can't keep three horses in a trailer meant for one. And as Xander pointed out (repeatedly) the petting zoo was so filthy you could smell the stench of urine all the way out on the street. Next time (and there will be a next time), Animal Services gets involved. So, Xander finally shows up again five minutes before it closes and has the stones to bitch about how few people there are inside (seriously, fuck you Xander). And we go roaming downtown afterwards and I shout mean things at stupid scilons while Xander whines "oh, SIIIX." Couple of highlights include when Flagsec Ryan Gosling nearly runs into us exiting a door that they really should put windows in already or something, chatting with yet another kid at the Fort Harrison who apparently did not realize we were evil evil SPs, THE TIGHTEST FUCKING PANTS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE OH MY GOD YOU COULD SEE THAT MAN'S JUNK, and seeing my darling Tux in his shiny new Flag Security uniform. I always knew you had a closet sociopath in you somewhere, Tux!The final topper on this metaphorical Christmas tree of clamhunting was counting all the discarded scientology handouts scattered blocks and blocks away from the event's location.