Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

TheBitch · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

RedOrbifold;691090 said:

I lol'd

needs moar lulz here

can your religion bring people back to life just by telling the dead guy to? didn't think so

Moar you say?

Vir · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Consensus;691084 said:

I missed it, what's the source on this?

Looks like an interview in the Scientology magazine Celebrity, but it would be useful to know the date/issue.

whoever · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Vir;691127 said:

Looks like an interview in the Scientology magazine Celebrity, but it would be useful to know the date/issue.

I posted about it here. It's from an interview in Celebrity magazine, Minor issue #271 (1993). (Full-page scan is linked in other post.)

There were so many topics being created, I didn't want to make one just for this.

A-non-non-anon · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

d20 System Reference Document said:

Raise Dead
Conjuration (Healing)
Level: Clr 5
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Dead creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You restore life to a deceased creature. You can raise a creature that has been dead for no longer than one day per caster level. In addition, the subject’s soul must be free and willing to return. If the subject’s soul is not willing to return, the spell does not work; therefore, a subject that wants to return receives no saving throw.

Coming back from the dead is an ordeal. The subject of the spell loses one level (or 1 Hit Die) when it is raised, just as if it had lost a level or a Hit Die to an energy-draining creature. If the subject is 1st level, it loses 2 points of Constitution instead (if this would reduce its Con to 0 or less, it can’t be raised). This level/HD loss or Constitution loss cannot be repaired by any means. A character who died with spells prepared has a 50% chance of losing any given spell upon being raised, in addition to losing spells for losing a level. A spellcasting creature that doesn’t prepare spells (such as a sorcerer) has a 50% chance of losing any given unused spell slot as if it had been used to cast a spell, in addition to losing spell slots for losing a level.

A raised creature has a number of hit points equal to its current Hit Dice. Any ability scores damaged to 0 are raised to 1. Normal poison and normal disease are cured in the process of raising the subject, but magical diseases and curses are not undone. While the spell closes mortal wounds and repairs lethal damage of most kinds, the body of the creature to be raised must be whole. Otherwise, missing parts are still missing when the creature is brought back to life. None of the dead creature’s equipment or possessions are affected in any way by this spell.

A creature who has been turned into an undead creature or killed by a death effect can’t be raised by this spell. Constructs, elementals, outsiders, and undead creatures can’t be raised. The spell cannot bring back a creature that has died of old age.

Material Component: Diamonds worth a total of least 5,000 gp.

See, if only Johnny T had been sensible, and played D&D, he would have known the *real* way to bring someone back from the dead. Vin Diesel would have been right there, ready with the 5k in diamonds

tendervittles · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

That seems to be directly related to it (with actual quotes), but I don't think the actual transcript is "generally" available. The sound files came without transcripts. I did manage to find the transcript for this one, but only as the Google-cached HTML version of a dead Freezoner PDF. (that's called lucky)

I was going to submit the whole thing to y'all, but the line breaks etc. at every line are so annoying. I've started reformatting it, but now I'm tired. If there is some keen demand, I'll finish it tonight -- otherwise, it might be next weekend.

I will give you the first paragraph of this lecture.

All right, you got it. Now I'm going to give you the $99 kick. I have been researching very, very hard. I have been researching very, very, very hard actually to find out why they kick in bad pictures, and why they kick in pictures at all. And, well, it's been a very long time I've been looking at this, a long time. And I finally unraveled it. So it is one hell of breakthrough. I've been interested in it because we're working with Expanded Dianetics, and it is one hell of a breakthrough. It is actually why people get sick. Pasteur came along in the last part of the 19th century and he invented germs [laughter], and it gave everyone and his brother an awful curve, because they do exist. But in the practice there is a thing called predisposition. Here's some marvelous words for you – predisposition. In other words, before the fact, the guy is disposed to get sick. And then there's precipitation and that means what precipitates this illness. Now he's already predisposed; this guy's going to get sick. Now he's suddenly sick; that's precipitated. The illness precipitated. And then he doesn't get well and that's called prolongation. In other words, it's just continuously gone on with. There's these three factors: predisposition, precipitation, prolongation.

AnonLover;690690 said:

dam i missed this... full reference to text version here

https://secure.wikileaks.org/leak/scientology-assists-handbook.pdf

page 217 of 297

tendervittles · Jan 11, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

OK, never mind, I finished it up. Some of the paragraph-making is a bit arbitrary, but at least now you can read it. Here it is:

RapidShare: Easy Filehosting

Anonymous · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Digg - SCIENTOLOGY: BRINGING THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE

basil · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

whoever;690991 said:

Or maybe even a contact assist

Just what I needed to finish off a flyer about Jett's mysterious death, thanks.

Anon_1HG · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

CBB;691947 said:

Digg - SCIENTOLOGY: BRINGING THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE

Dugg

Controversial Jack · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

... Well, shit, now I know what I have to rasterbate to show to Cathy Norman next weekend.

twistedpuppet · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

A-non-non-anon;691321 said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by d20 System Reference Document
Raise Dead
Conjuration (Healing)
Level: Clr 5
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Dead creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You restore life to a deceased creature. You can raise a creature that has been dead for no longer than one day per caster level. In addition, the subject’s soul must be free and willing to return. If the subject’s soul is not willing to return, the spell does not work; therefore, a subject that wants to return receives no saving throw.

Coming back from the dead is an ordeal. The subject of the spell loses one level (or 1 Hit Die) when it is raised, just as if it had lost a level or a Hit Die to an energy-draining creature. If the subject is 1st level, it loses 2 points of Constitution instead (if this would reduce its Con to 0 or less, it can’t be raised). This level/HD loss or Constitution loss cannot be repaired by any means. A character who died with spells prepared has a 50% chance of losing any given spell upon being raised, in addition to losing spells for losing a level. A spellcasting creature that doesn’t prepare spells (such as a sorcerer) has a 50% chance of losing any given unused spell slot as if it had been used to cast a spell, in addition to losing spell slots for losing a level.

A raised creature has a number of hit points equal to its current Hit Dice. Any ability scores damaged to 0 are raised to 1. Normal poison and normal disease are cured in the process of raising the subject, but magical diseases and curses are not undone. While the spell closes mortal wounds and repairs lethal damage of most kinds, the body of the creature to be raised must be whole. Otherwise, missing parts are still missing when the creature is brought back to life. None of the dead creature’s equipment or possessions are affected in any way by this spell.

A creature who has been turned into an undead creature or killed by a death effect can’t be raised by this spell. Constructs, elementals, outsiders, and undead creatures can’t be raised. The spell cannot bring back a creature that has died of old age.

Material Component: Diamonds worth a total of least 5,000 gp.

See, if only Johnny T had been sensible, and played D&D, he would have known the *real* way to bring someone back from the dead. Vin Diesel would have been right there, ready with the 5k in diamonds

After reading that, I have to ask, when did Hubbard start with the whole "life assist" crap? If it was after D&D hit the scene, then we can be fairly certain he ripped it from D&D.

none given · Jan 12, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

twistedpuppet;692801 said:

After reading that, I have to ask, when did Hubbard start with the whole "life assist" crap? If it was after D&D hit the scene, then we can be fairly certain he ripped it from D&D.

Proving Hubbard stole from Gygax would be to sweet.

CherrieZ · Jan 13, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

HellRazor;691089 said:

Just what we fukken need... a bunch of dead scilons brought back to life.

zombie tech....

Lednir · Jan 13, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

I've heard scientologist use 2nd edition rules.

"Raise Dead
5th level.
Restores life to a dwarf, gnome, half-elf, halfling or human.
Must be cast within 1 day of death per level of caster.
The person being raised must make a Fortitude save or die from the shock of being brought back to life." -Paraphrased from a 2nd edition rulebook.

This explains everything, Jett failed his fort. roll.

ChronicEnturbulator · Jan 13, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

azonymous · Jan 24, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

emplode;690333 said:

So. If someone dies, yell at him to bring him back to life. Great.

So, you think this might look a little weird to, say, an EMT? In the back of an ambulance...

CantPickaName · Jan 24, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

azonymous;715277 said:

So, you think this might look a little weird to, say, an EMT? In the back of an ambulance...

We dont need no stinkin ambulance when we have Tom Cruise...sheeesh

727 · Jan 31, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Yep, this proves it; L Ron is fuckin laughing in his grave. Seriously, isnt this horribly, idk, dangerous?? That a scilon will refuse medical help when someone is dead, to instead, tell them to get back in their body??

A thought came to mind though, can we confirm that Travolta was using Tone 40 as he was suppose to? I mean, in the sort of situation, isnt it possible he was just hysterical and yelling for them to come back?? Iv seen people yell that before in that situation, and they werent doing Scilon Science.

I think maybe thats why L Ron chose that sort of thing, to make the con seem half way believeable, because there is no denying that people do sometimes pop back into conciousness, and there are case studies of it happening in rare cases. Wouldnt it be SO easy for Tubbard to say 'Well of course they came back! The family cried for him to come back, so he did!' Boom, suddenly, the tech seems a tiny bit believable, and the conman and his dwarf understudy makes some money off new believers.

firebug · Jan 31, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

And lets not forget the "Sober a drunk up assist"

How To Make a Person Sober

There is an interesting use of Locational Processing as a way to make a person sober. It can make a drunk person sober in a very few minutes. As society currently has no technology for handling the drunk, who is an embarrassment to his family, his friends and often to himself, this process has social value and may serve as a line of cooperation and assistance to the police.

Procedure

Use the command:

“Look at that_________ (room object).”

A drunk is usually considered somewhat unconfrontable and he himself certainly cannot confront. One thing he cannot confront is an empty glass. He always refills it if it is empty.

Repeat the command, each time pointing out a room object, as often as required to bring the person to sobriety. Do not get distracted into answering the frequent comment, “What object?” Just get the command carried out, acknowledge and give the next command.

Run until the person is no longer drunk.

Do not ever get angry with or strike a drunk, whatever the provocation.

This process is not intended to handle the condition of alcoholism. There are more advanced Scientology procedures that can be done to handle the conditions that caused a person to be alcoholic. But one can do a lot of good for the person and those around him by using this assist to bring him back to sobriety.

We are not particularly in the business of handling the drunk. But we are in the field of helping our fellow men. In a society where the only alternative is a night in jail and a fine, which is not desired by either the police or the intoxicated person, we can assist both and handle the situation in a matter of minutes.

Obi-Wan-anon · Feb 5, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

emplode;690333 said:

So. If someone dies, yell at him to bring him back to life. Great.

Must work - at least on South Park it does. How many times have they killed Kenny, anyway?

firebug · Feb 5, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Larry Brennen posted this today over at OCMB

Recently I saw that Tom Cruise video again where re ranted on about scientology and said that only scientologists could help at accidents and things like that. I also just read a thread on clambake about “ethics” in organized scientology and how that developed and was applied.

In September 1973 I started on staff at AOLA (Advanced Organization of Los Angeles) as a lowly “HGC Admin” (Hubbard Guidance Center Administrator) which meant I was the guy who did the low level work to ensure paying scientology public got into and out of session in the HGC by ensuring they arrived on time, the auditors had supplies, the rooms were clean, etc. When someone arrived for their scheduled session I would have them take a seat and would go get his or her auditor to come out and take that person into session.

At that time I was just above “raw meat”, had no authority in scientology, no auditing and had only done an introductory course. I had just quit college to join staff at AOLA.

I got a call that a public named Hans Benekee (I do not know how to spell his last name but as I recall it sounds like “Ben a key”) was coming to the HGC and when he arrived make sure he got into session ASAP.

Hans arrived at the HGC, I greeted him and had him take a seat and immediately went off to get his auditor in the back. I came out with the auditor only to find Hans having convulsions on the couch and frothing at the mouth. It was shocking as only a minute or so before he calmly walked up to the HGC window and told me he was there for his session.

Here’s the part of this story that tells what Tom Cruise meant when he said only scientologists could handle it. Immediately that auditor, another auditor and the boss of the auditors known as the Director of Processing stood in front of the couch around the convulsing Hans and were postulating that he get better (yes that is what they said later). One of them, his auditor, was giving verbal commands to Hans and to this day I will never forget it. She ordered him sternly “you get back into that body”.

Meanwhile Hans was dying, froth over almost all of the lower half of his face and he had stopped convulsing showing almost zero signs of life if any. All this happened maybe over a period of two minutes as I as the new guy watched the highly respected auditors “handle” the situation. Finally I could not stand it and I pushed myself through the auditors, got down on my knees, quickly wiped the froth from his face, looked for anything in his mouth and frantically gave him artificial respiration trying to say his life. I was not successful and quickly realized I was giving it to a dead man but still tried. I did everything I knew to try to save him but was too late. Maybe 10 minutes later (am not sure on the time) an ambulance arrived, took over and could not revive him.

Hans Benekee was dead.

Hans had died right there in the HGC with top scientology auditors all around him doing what Tom Cruise ranted about only scientologists could do to help. To this day I believe that if any decent medical practitioner were there Hans would have lived. I also believe that if I had not stood there as the newbee letting the auditors try to handle him with their version of “scientology”, if I realized they were full of it and I just jumped in and tried to revive him in the first few seconds that I may have saved his life.

I’ll never know but I guess I just wanted to give an informed opinion of just how crazy Cruise really was when he said only scientologists could help in such an emergency.

BTW, ten of us on AOLA staff were Comm Eved for his death and it was brutal. It included me, the auditors, the main technical staff and qual staff over Hans at AOLA including the head of the Tech Division “Kay Boland/Mamanakas (spelling?). We were about to be creamed when Hubbard sent a telex ordering the comm eve stopped as we “were upstat”. That also shows you just how much money can have to do with justice in organized scientology. All was cancelled and Hubbard even wrote a little process for us “AOLA 10” to do to help handle the “wrong indications” as we never should have had harsh justice applied to us when our stats were so up, even though someone died.

The Comm Eve never would have resulted in the real causes being found or anything else good coming from this in the future. I know this as it was “finding” that Hans died because he had not completed OT II and saw the OT III Materials. He was already showing signs of a medical problem but it was attributed to the above. OMG! Yet another person with an obvious medical condition is left untreated and dies trying to handle everything with the OT levels.

So there is another story, if old, of death in the hands of unqualified people trying to practice medicine and/or psychology.

I know I tried my best to save Hans but it was not enough. I do regret that I was unwittingly a believer in and part of a group that could let something like this happen.

Tom Cruise if somehow you ever read this please know how completely wrong your statement is that only scientologists can help in such a situation. Many have died just because of that belief as unqualified people in organized scientology try to practice medicine/psychology. You have been promoting a dangerous cult and its highly dangerous practices. Yet there is still time for you to join others out here trying to do something about it now.

IMHO

Larry Brennan

amaX · Feb 5, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Horrible.

I read stories like this and I wonder how it is that they lose all of their common sense and their decency. Larry Brennan seemed to still be in touch with his common sense and decency. He eventually tries to help this man, but it's too late. Then he gets sucked right back into the cult even though he stood there with other people and they let a man die.

It's simplistic, but when I hear stories like this, I always think of the little old lady with the walker out in L.A.: "Bad people!"

Ravenmore · Feb 5, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Wow.
And if the fact that the handbook includes a story about someone coming back to life BECAUSE THEY FELT SORRY FOR THE PERSON THEY PAY MONEY TO FOR BULLSHIT doesn't reek of crap... then you are obviously in a coma.
But don't worry. Scientologists can help, all they need to do is grope you a bit.

Heavens to Margatroid... how can people believe this? Wishful thinking?

none given · Feb 6, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

AnonMomAnon2;732998 said:

It's simplistic, but when I hear stories like this, I always think of the little old lady with the walker out in L.A.: "Bad people!"

It sounds simplistic but that's pretty much the whole story; bad people.

chipmunkproof · Feb 6, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

oh god the part when it says "think of your poor auditor" just got me. Its so funny cause its so ridiculous. Like no one in the history of the planet has ever in a serious tone asked someone to come back to life. I forgot they arent magical like the scilions.

Kage · Mar 2, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Oh my God...

I can see the $cifag doctors doing that!

Epic lolz doth ensue.

Vannaphrax · Mar 2, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Ravenmore;733072 said:

Wow.
And if the fact that the handbook includes a story about someone coming back to life BECAUSE THEY FELT SORRY FOR THE PERSON THEY PAY MONEY TO FOR BULLSHIT doesn't reek of crap... then you are obviously in a coma.
But don't worry. Scientologists can help, all they need to do is grope you a bit.

Heavens to Margatroid... how can people believe this? Wishful thinking?

Ignorance, false hope and a meglomaniac tendency. : )

darkshadow667 · Mar 22, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

Woohoo! I just learned RESSURECT! Now I can go to the next dungeon! Cannot WAIT to level THIS up!

OTBT · Mar 22, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

darkshadow667;802489 said:

Woohoo! I just learned RESSURECT!

Here's a thread on how to die, scientology style

http://forums.whyweprotest.net/7-general-discussion/body-death-assist-41226/

novocherkassk · Mar 31, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

commenting in epic leak

FacelessCitizen · Mar 31, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

d20 System Reference Document said:

Raise Dead
Conjuration (Healing)
Level: Clr 5
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Dead creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You restore life to a deceased creature. You can raise a creature that has been dead for no longer than one day per caster level. In addition, the subject’s soul must be free and willing to return. If the subject’s soul is not willing to return, the spell does not work; therefore, a subject that wants to return receives no saving throw.

Coming back from the dead is an ordeal. The subject of the spell loses one level (or 1 Hit Die) when it is raised, just as if it had lost a level or a Hit Die to an energy-draining creature. If the subject is 1st level, it loses 2 points of Constitution instead (if this would reduce its Con to 0 or less, it can’t be raised). This level/HD loss or Constitution loss cannot be repaired by any means. A character who died with spells prepared has a 50% chance of losing any given spell upon being raised, in addition to losing spells for losing a level. A spellcasting creature that doesn’t prepare spells (such as a sorcerer) has a 50% chance of losing any given unused spell slot as if it had been used to cast a spell, in addition to losing spell slots for losing a level.

A raised creature has a number of hit points equal to its current Hit Dice. Any ability scores damaged to 0 are raised to 1. Normal poison and normal disease are cured in the process of raising the subject, but magical diseases and curses are not undone. While the spell closes mortal wounds and repairs lethal damage of most kinds, the body of the creature to be raised must be whole. Otherwise, missing parts are still missing when the creature is brought back to life. None of the dead creature’s equipment or possessions are affected in any way by this spell.

A creature who has been turned into an undead creature or killed by a death effect can’t be raised by this spell. Constructs, elementals, outsiders, and undead creatures can’t be raised. The spell cannot bring back a creature that has died of old age.

Material Component: Diamonds worth a total of least 5,000 gp.

yeesh, sounds like something out of WoW...(I'm no fan of WoW, for the record)

Anonymous.Akuma · Mar 31, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

<Anonymous Akuma has learned "ARISE">
<Anonymous Akuma casts "ARISE">
<The spell has failed.>

Well isn't that just fucking fantastic.

pedrofcuk · Nov 10, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

pooks;690277 said:

Scn tech failed.

its all very well bringing someone back to life but what if:

a. they don't want to be brought back to life (fuck off auditor)

b. their body is so mangled that living in it actually hurts (ouch, fuck off auditor)

c. they are happy where they are (fuck off auditor)

d. they are in the middle of a lovely dream (fuck off auditor)

e. they prefer heaven (fuck off auditor)

f. they actually don't mind hell (fuck off auditor, ouch)

g. the tech doesn't work on them because they are pts (what auditor?)

h. they are sps (maniacal laughter - stupid auditor)

JohnnyRUClear · Nov 10, 2009

Re: Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

pedrofcuk;1060223 said:

its all very well bringing someone back to life but what if:

a. they don't want to be brought back to life (fuck off auditor)

b. their body is so mangled that living in it actually hurts (ouch, fuck off auditor)

c. they are happy where they are (fuck off auditor)

d. they are in the middle of a lovely dream (fuck off auditor)

e. they prefer heaven (fuck off auditor)

f. they actually don't mind hell (fuck off auditor, ouch)

g. the tech doesn't work on them because they are pts (what auditor?)

h. they are sps (maniacal laughter - stupid auditor)

Shut up! You're making Ron wrong! SHUT UP!!!!!!

Log in or Sign up

Scientology's BRING BACK TO LIFE tech

TheBitch Member

Vir Member

whoever Member

A-non-non-anon Member

tendervittles Member

tendervittles Member

Anonymous Member

basil Member

Anon_1HG Member

Controversial Jack Member

twistedpuppet Member

none given Member

CherrieZ Member

Lednir Member

ChronicEnturbulator Member

azonymous Member

CantPickaName Member

727 Member

firebug Member

Obi-Wan-anon Member

firebug Member

amaX Member

Ravenmore Member

none given Member

chipmunkproof Member

Kage Member

Vannaphrax Member

darkshadow667 Member

OTBT Member

novocherkassk Member

FacelessCitizen Member

Anonymous.Akuma Member

pedrofcuk Member

JohnnyRUClear Member

Share This Page

Customize Theme Colors

Predefined Skins