Portland Ideal Org

Discussion in 'USA - West Coast' started by The Wrong Guy, Sep 16, 2015.

  1. The Wrong Guy Member

    Today the cult got another mention, this time in the Portland Mercury, under the title Tom Cruise. Quote:

    One of the stranger developments in downtown Portland in the past few years has been the sleek, shiny, and creepy Church of Scientology of Portland building that sprung up on the corner of SW 3rd and Oak. You know the one, dears! The one that's always polished and buffed to a sparkling, otherworldly sheen? (Nice polishing and buffing, Scientologists! Glad to see someone's getting some use out of those billion-year indentured servitude contracts you signed.)

    Still, a pressing question remains: Given Scientology's status as a celeb-crazed cult, how is it that even this Portland building is missing a celebrity? A celebrity like, say... Tom Cruise? Not only would Tom's wacky, anti-science beliefs fit right in with woo-woo Portlanders' mortal terror of GMOs and fluoride, but — as all who've done a double-take while walking by the Scientology building can attest — there's an empty, street-level office just waiting for Tom! Sure, the decorated-yet-unused-office says it's for L. Ron Hubbard, and supposedly it's there for Hubbard to use when he returns to Earth.

    But until then, what's the harm of Tom Cruise resting his tiny little feet on L. Ron's desk while he punches up the dialogue for Mission: Impossible 6: Perhaps These Missions Are, In Fact, Possible or jots down some notes on the third act of Jack Reacher 2: Reachin' for the Stars? Move to Portland, Tom! We promise we won't sit by your office window all day, using fishing poles to swing around little cardboard cutouts of UFOs to get you all excited.

    Comments are open, here:
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  2. The Wrong Guy Member

    Pathetic Portland Chapter XVII

    By Mike Rinder, September 21, 2015


    How low can an “ideal org” go?

    Putting out a promo piece about two people completing an Intro Course is a pretty good measure.

    There should literally be dozens, if not hundreds of these completions every week. And if there were hundreds, they would still be 25,000 years away from “clearing Oregon” as a hundred basic course comps might translate into 20″Major Comps” and that in turn probably translates into 2 clears a week. 100 a year.


    But to get the real answer about how low it can go, there is this:


    Wow, that booming field is really “Clearing Portland” – ONE selectee brought into the org. ZERO selection slips submitted.

    This is REALITY in the ideal orgs.
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  3. RightOn Member

    Australia was supposed to be the first cleared, if I am not mistaken?
    Let's start there with why it never was. LOL!!!

    Hey and while we are talking about ridiiculous things,
    How come David Miscavige has never met with Obama? After, all for such a wonderful leader and an ever expanding religion that is saving this planet, you would think that he would have met with Obama. I guess Clinton was the only idiot who got mixed up in it for a bit. I am not saying he met DM, but he was a bit if a shill for them, wasn't he?
    Hey sheeple! Obama met with the Pope, why not meet with the Pope of Scientology? no? why not?:confused:
    And BTW, I think all of it (the Pope and all that silly stuff) is ridiculous.
  4. We love comparisons with LA. They are so fail.
  5. The Wrong Guy Member

    Cringe Corner

    By Mike Rinder, October 22, 2015

    OMFG. What are they thinking?

    And this tells you what a booming “ideal” org in “the first scientology city” is really like — this 7(?) year old is “one of Portland’s most productive FSM’s.”


    Source and comments:
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  6. The Wrong Guy Member

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  7. RightOn Member

    What's the difference how young Sasha is? They are just adults in children bodies after all.
    amirite? :confused:

    Wonder what school Sasha attends? This shit has to stop.
  8. The Wrong Guy Member

    Here's an ad that showed up yesterday in the Jobs section of Craigslist in Portland:

    Cafe Manager

    compensation: Small base pay + 20% commission on profit from sales
    employment type: full-time
    non-profit organization

    Position for the Cafe Manager at the Church of Scientology in Portland:

    We are looking for a creative and ambitious manager to build up the cafe we have on the second floor of our building. Currently we have a large lounge area and a mostly self-serve type cafe. It has all the professional equipment (smoothie makers, espresso machine, etc.) to be a flourishing cafe but no one to fully run it so it doesn't produce at all close to its potential.

    The position would be 9:00-6:00, Mondays-Fridays, largely commission based, and there's no specific requirements on previous work experience. However, barista experience or having worked in any service based industry would be a huge benefit.

    We want someone who's interested in really creating on the cafe and having fun with it.

    Must be 18 or older and not have any felonies or probationary status.

    We are a nonprofit organization and our staff is paid from a portion of our weekly donations. Therefore, exact pay will fluctuate but we will also be offering 20% commission on the profit from the cafe items sold. We require all of our staff members to commit to a 2-1/2 year volunteer contract with us as we invest lots of time and training into each person. You would be considered a volunteer staff member of our organization.

    The duties will include: cleaning, ordering supplies, stocking, preparing drinks, serving customers and other miscellaneous manual work.

    If you're interested, please submit your resume via e-mail.




  9. That's the job for me, I've always wanted to be a volunteer slave.
  10. The Wrong Guy Member

    What a Scientology job sounds like to the outside world

    By Tony Ortega, April 5, 2017


    What makes it especially fun is to see the Ideal Org trying to entice an outsider to work under the conditions that Scientologists consider normal: Work as a “volunteer” but sign a 2.5-year contract, with your pay tied to donations (and probably nonexistent in general).

    We also note that an applicant is being asked to increase business for a second-floor cafe in a building which is completely dead. (We just had a report from a reader who went by lately and could find no one on the ground floor at all. Who’s going to go upstairs looking for a cup of coffee in that creepy setup?)
  11. RaddaRadda Member

    They took down the ad.
    Here is an archive in addition to any screen shots
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