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New Press Releases: TomKat

Discussion in 'Translation and Text Composition Projects' started by Consensus, Apr 18, 2008.

  1. Consensus Member

    New Press Releases: TomKat

    I'm kicking off a number of new press releases. Let's have a deadline of Saturday, April 19th, 8pm eastern daylight time. That gives us about 24 hours for each of these. I'm hoping a number of Sunday papers are going to run small blurbs on the happenings of this week, and we'd like to get a few simple, concise, and clear sound-bites into them on behalf of Anonymous.

    Press release number 1: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes rumors. I'll start you guys out, but I'll take no offense if you take it in a completely different direction.
    Yeah, it's wordy, moral-faggish, and preachy. Please cut it to shreds. But remember, we want soundbites. We're not looking to get new articles published, we're not looking to make news - we just want to be quoted in the articles that are inevitably going to be printed in the next week. So do your best!
  2. Mousey Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    During her indoctrination into the cult, Katie Holmes underwent many hours of Auditing. Auditing is a process similar to the Catholic rite of confession, only with the added bonus of having your confession recorded on video while you are holding on to a rudimentary lie detector, and you are only allowed to leave when your priest/auditor is satisfied.

    Katie Holmes is out of her indoctrination period I would presume, so the tense needed fixing in the first bit. You connected auditing and confession, then let your sarcastic bite kinda hang out there on its own with no support, the poor little guy.

    Edit: I know your problem, because I suffer from it myself. Don't put a comma at the end of a thought! Sometimes the next thought deserves to be a new sentence.
  3. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Maybe add that the recording sessions are usually without the knowledge of those being recorded? It's bit of a leap, but I think it can be corroborated by enough people who have recorded such activity..
  4. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    During her indoctrination into the cult, Katie Holmes has undergone many hours of Auditing, a process similar to the Catholic rite of confession, if you were videotaped, strapped to a lie detector and only allowed to leave the confessional when the priest is satisfied.

    Isn't a great sentence only in the sense that there are too many commas, and at first glance implies the wrong thing. A fix would perhaps be:

    During her indoctrination into the cult, Katie Holmes has undergone many hours of Auditing, a process which is similar to the Catholic rite of confession. The only difference being if one were videotaped, strapped to a lie detector and only allowed to leave the confessional when the priest is satisfied.
  5. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    better?
  6. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Nice
  7. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Do you want me to circulate this when its done - I have a pretty extensive list of UK media contacts
  8. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    "Anonymous, the loosely-affiliated group of internet users protesting Scientology, has a message for Katie Holmes: Do not fear Scientology; if you choose to leave, we'll back you up. We will stand behind you 100 percent, and to the best of our collective ability, we will help you gain freedom for both yourself and Suri. The entire country knows how much you love your daughter, Katie, and Anonymous wants you to know that you are doing the right thing for her, no matter what Scientology or your husband may be telling you."

    That would be my addition. I'm sure she needs to hear it, plus it draws attention to the fact that Katie is not the only Sci victim here....Suri will have to grow up in it if Katie's attempt = fail.
  9. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    MUCH. Caeks.
  10. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    How's this?
  11. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    ^^ THIS.

    I like the fact that this one is very "it's like an established religion BUT!"
  12. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    That would be helpful, yes. I imagine it's too late for their Sunday paper deadlines, right?
  13. Mousey Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Yeah man, that's golden.
  14. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Just so you know, if you ever want help composing press releases again, I can put my writerly skills to work. Just lemme know when and gimme any facts I may not know about!

    Heh. I always wanted to write politically. Never thought I'd be doing it for Anonymous. ;)
  15. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Girlontheinternet=win
  16. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    I'd change the word 'peruse', but don't have an immediate suggestion. Overall, very well-written and informative. I do have some concerns about length - the more concise an explanation, the more quotable. But it does sound more professional than my version.

    Are there additional paragraphs we need to tack on? Or is the press release better as a to-the-point, short little blurb? Any additional background? Any links to tack on at the end?
  17. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Sorry, I'm kind of wordy (makes college papers really easy, though). I'll try and unclutter it a tiny bit.

  18. Anonymouse Member

  19. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    A brief paragraph explaining disconnection and why it may be adding to pressure to keep Katie from blowing sounds like a good idea. Anyone wanna throw one together?


    e:Kidman Wants Kids Out of Scientology - AOL News

    This is seriously heating up fast.
  20. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    "A brief paragraph explaining disconnection and why it may be adding to pressure to keep Katie from blowing sounds like a good idea. Anyone wanna throw one together?"



    "Disconnection is the Church's policy of forcing (through blackmail, shaming, peer pressure, brute force) a Scientologist to sever, completely and thoroughly, all ties with family members, friends, confidantes, mentors, or anyone else that can be labeled an SP, or "Suppressive Person". An SP is someone who speaks out against Scientology, will not or cannot be converted along with their friend, or tries to convince said friend to get out of the cult. It is very, very hard on the victim because it leaves them with no person outside of Scientologist circles to talk to. Nobody to steady them or ground them. Add to that the trauma that comes from severing ties with your family, and the victim is now weak, defenseless, and ripe for the plundering. Disconnection is surely one of the things stopping Katie Holmes from leaving the Church, for if she does and is unable to secure Suri's safety as well, Tom will no doubt be ordered to aid in two-year old Suri's disconnection from her own mother."


    Thoughts?
  21. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    As for Nicole, is there any way we can help her??

    Or write something expressing our support???
  22. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    (trying to cut together things thus far)
  23. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    So far, I like it.

    What else do we need to say??

    (oh, and this is re: my own addition...I'm wondering if we are opening ourselves up to a slander suit if we keep in the part where I said "no matter what...your husband may be telling you.") I mean, there's no need to tempt fate. Although everyone knows that Tom is trying to keep her from going....**shrug**

    Whaddya think?
  24. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    This wasn't posted yet when I was compiling & editing things thus far. I don't like to be involved when there's a choice between something I wrote and something someone else wrote. I'm also not gunna be the judge of when this is done and ready to send out, so I'd appreciate anybody working to decide which version should be our 'final draft' (or if more work needs done).
  25. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat


    I don't think it's libel or slander, as it doesn't accuse him of a crime or anything... but I think the last sentence there could be cut anyway. It's a valid sentiment, and certainly I'd like to get it to Katie, but we don't want it to sound like rambling. We want short, concise sentences. Something quotable.
  26. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Then go ahead and cut the Tom part, although I would like to leave in the "...what the Church is telling you." bit.

    As for what you wrote vs. what I wrote, I don't really wanna be the deciding force, either.

    WE NEED MOAR ANONS OVER HERE!!!
  27. darawk Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Definitely a good idea. I like your paragraph, my only criticism is that it's a little bit too cynical in the "weak, defenseless, and ripe for the plundering" phrase. Suggested change: "Add to that the trauma that comes from severing ties with your family, and the victim of this cruel policy is forced into a psychological dependence on Scientology for all of their social interaction".
  28. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    "Disconnection is the Church's policy of forcing (through blackmail, shaming, peer pressure, brute force) a Scientologist to sever, completely and thoroughly, all ties with family members, friends, confidantes, mentors, or anyone else that can be labeled an SP, or "Suppressive Person". An SP is someone who speaks out against Scientology, will not or cannot be converted along with their friend, or tries to convince said friend to get out of the cult. It is very, very hard on the victim because it leaves them with no person outside of Scientologist circles to talk to. Nobody to steady them or ground them. Add to that the trauma that comes from severing ties with your family, and the victim of this cruel policy is forced into a psychological dependence on Scientology for all of their social interaction. Disconnection is surely one of the things stopping Katie Holmes from leaving the Church, for if she does and is unable to secure Suri's safety as well, Tom will no doubt be ordered to aid in two-year old Suri's disconnection from her own mother."


    Better??? (nice suggestion, thank you! ;) )
  29. CVAnonymous Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    First of all, this needs to be shorter; I have changed very few things from the original, but have added a version of the Disconnection paragraph. Flame, edit, pick apart...

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 19 APRIL 2008
    RE: CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY

    Hollywood, CA

    Anonymous, the loosely-affiliated group of internet users protesting Scientology, has a message for Katie Holmes:

    "Do not fear Scientology. If you choose to leave, we will back you back you up, as will the thousands of brave souls who have already escaped Scientology. There are resources and support in place for those who leave. We will stand behind you 100 percent. To the best of our collective ability, we will help you gain freedom for both yourself and your daughter. Katie, the entire country knows how much you love your daughter, and Anonymous supports you doing what's right for her - no matter what Scientology or your husband may be telling you."

    Rumors have been circulating that Katie Holmes is considering taking her daughter Suri to New York for a trial separation from Tom Cruise. The Church of Scientology is actively working to avoid this PR blunder, and may be using strongarm tactics - including threats to back Tom for custody of Suri.

    Anonymous is well aware of the Church of Scientology's active 'Fair Game' policy, in which scare tactics and intimidation are used to control both those seeking to leave the cult and those who criticize it from outside.

    During her indoctrination into the cult, Katie Holmes has undergone many hours of auditing, a process vaguely similar to confession in Catholicism. However, one striking difference between the two is confidentiality: while the priests who administer confession may never reveal what they are told, auditing is videotaped without the knowledge of the "confessor", and there is no promise of secrecy. In addition, people who undergo auditing are evaluated with the aid of an E-meter (a primitive lie detector) and cannot leave the room until the auditor is satisfied. Sessions sometimes last hours. Ex-scientologists report that these auditing sessions and their tapes are used as blackmail material against the Church of Scientology's own members, giving auditors the psychological control they need to ensure that many members never try to leave. Scientology is doubtlessly holding those video recordings - and the custody of her child - over Katie's head.


    Disconnection is the Church's policy of forcing a Scientologist to sever, completely and thoroughly, all ties with family members, friends, confidantes, mentors, or anyone else that can be labelled an SP, or "Suppressive Person". An SP is someone who speaks out against Scientology, will not or cannot be converted along with their friend, or tries to convince said friend to get out of the cult. It is very hard on the victim because it leaves them with no person outside of Scientologist circles to talk to. Nobody to steady them or ground them. The very real possibility of being Disconnected from her daughter is surely one of the things stopping Katie Holmes from leaving. If she does leave and is unable to secure Suri's safety as well, Tom will no doubt be ordered to aid in two-year old Suri's disconnection from her own mother.

    Anonymous pledges that, if she chooses to leave, we will publicize any Fair Game tactics employed against her. We will rally behind her. Anonymous also empathizes with Katie and all members of Scientology - we understand the methods by which the Church of Scientology hijacks the minds of those who have not been inoculated. We know that very intelligent, well-meaning people have been taken in, and we will welcome those intelligent, well-meaning people back to our open society once their eyes are open to the abuse they have suffered.

    We demand nothing of those who have left the cult; we ask nothing and are happy to respect the privacy of those who leave - but we are more than happy to help those who have first-hand knowledge educate those who do not on the travesties occurring within the 'Church.' For ex-scientologists looking for support, Ex Scientologist Message Board - Powered by vBulletin and Operation Clambake are good places to begin.
  30. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    ^^ I like this one!

    **claps**

    Although I've a problem with a comma. Dunno how to fix, but now that I look at it again it seems off. "We all know how much you love you daughter, Katie, and blah blah" It makes it seem like Suri = Katie, when it was supposed to be directed towards Katie herself.

    Can a grammaranon fix please???
  31. CVAnonymous Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Fixed. See editted sentence.
  32. MarcabEmpress Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Anonymous, the loosely-affiliated group of internet users protesting Scientology, has a message for Katie Holmes: Do not fear Scientology; if you choose to leave, we'll back you up.

    Suggested CHANGE: Do not fear Scientology, if you choose to leave we will back you back you up, as will the thousands of brave souls who have already escaped Scientology. There are resources and support in place for those who leave Scientology.

    You may wish to include a list of the regularly suggested websites (Tory, xenutv and ESK would be the appropriate ones for this press release) . Every time those websites are seen by media it reinforces for them sources of information and quotes.

    ALSO, best NOT to use contraction, but to stick with DO NOT, WE WILL etc.
  33. CVAnonymous Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    I like that, ME. Latest edit includes it. I've cleaned it up a bit as well...thought there were too many run-on sentences & the like.
  34. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    I am very much liking how this is shaping up!!

    And yes, that sentence works much better now.

    :flowers:
  35. CVAnonymous Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    soooo...hands up from everyone who wants to run with the above version.
  36. Anonymouse Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    :cheers:

    Me!
  37. Consensus Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    :headbang:
  38. Anonymous J1b Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    *raises hand* And again, I'll just throw out that we may want to change the date maybe? :confused:
  39. CVAnonymous Member

    Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    Yeah, dates need to be changed on all of them, unfortunately. It'll be the 21st here when they go out :(
  40. Re: New Press Releases: TomKat

    too late for Sunday papers today I'm afraid, but send them now and the monday papers might take notice

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