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Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

Discussion in 'Celebrity News' started by BHX, May 30, 2008.

  1. tazor Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111


    I do in fact work, highoverlord! I raise octoputhes. I also train German Shephards. It's a thankless job but someone has to do it for the greater good.

    By the way, you din't pm me or your pm is lost inbetween my infraction notifications!
  2. notapplicable Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    If we could just nab the other one, we could arrange an epic Olsen showdown. Someone should get on this.
  3. Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Weird. As weird as the Pete Doherty thing. I personally wouldn't be surprised if she was, but I doubt it.

    Doesn't matter though. Celeb or no celeb, they are all victims.
  4. Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    This thread is gonna look great with mudkips in the background.
  5. AnonMSW Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Now we know why it is we should have done this before and what COS' response has begun to be... outting the vanguard of their celebs new and old. Will Smith's coming out party is no doubt right around the corner folks, time to begin to develop a plan for wtf to do when we find out that a far greater number of people than just the usual "Fat Girl" Kirstie Allie, John "Wow What a Codpiece!" (Battlefield Earth) Travlota, and Tom "I Just Wanna Share" Cruise begin to come out of the closet. I have no guess as to where the trail of celebrities in a funk who get jacked by well planted Scilons ends; my guess is we're a very long way away from the end of that road.

    COS started camping out in Hollyweird decades ago, and "it all seems so Clear" when a clone whose been drilled for years to "smile in a relaxed fashion" meets up with someone whose celebrity status / choice of life hasn't worked for them that turning to ANYTHING else that anyone says "it works!" is indeed an overwhelmingly attractive option. Perhaps the reality is that celebrities subjected to stresses I simply cannot imagine, and concerned that medication will "stifle their creativity," move from therapy to therapy til they find one that does not give them the option to pick the next when Scientology fails. Perhaps it is that celebrity as it stands today is itself a rather toxic condition in terms of mental health, and that coming to terms with seperating the hype from the reality inside the mind of the celebrities concerned isn't possible for people such as Ms. Simpson.

    One thing is certain, flash draws flash. Having personal slaves in the form of COS handlers to constantly worship and cheerlead people in such positions must truly be an aphrodisiac beyond compare, and the weak willed who care more for their careers than their mental health are drawn to it like flies to excrement. Perhaps Ms. Simpson should consider early retirement as a way to alleviate stress, rather than relying on the crutch of mindlessness which is Scientology.
  6. anonymous1312 Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Ah fuck, poor little lass. Sounds like she's about to jump from the frying pan and in to the fire and she is already to disconnect from her twin sister; this is screwed up. Sounds like she is beyond hope. :sad:
  7. Quote Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE, READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE, READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE, READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE, READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE.

    THIS IS NOT A REAL STORY. IT IS SATIRE AND YOU ARE ALL STUPID FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.

    EVEN THE ONES WHO KNEW IT WAS SATIRE, YOU'RE STUPID FOR NOT KNOWING TWICE.

    [/cruisecontrol for cool]

    In b4 dome.
  8. tazor Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    agree^^
  9. Anon Colbert Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Yeah this was about the third reason I knew this was satire.
  10. AnonMSW Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Heh, perhaps you should look deeper for the continuing satire, rather than falling for it twice yourself? Just a thought.

    ;)
  11. Anon Colbert Member

  12. Helium Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Come on guys, how many of you actually read this?
  13. TwilightAnon Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    *sigh* Okay, just in case anyone still hasn't got it, this is from the site it was posted on.



    "ABOUT STARSTORIES
    First of all, a definition, so nobody gets confused:

    PARODY
    noun
    1. a composition that imitates or misrepresents somebody’s style, usually in a humorous way
    2. humorous or satirical mimicry
    (source: WordNet, Princeton University)

    So, what’s the deal?
    A lot of people have asked me exactly what the point of this site is. There are a few points. First, fun, and hopefully laughter. All the stories here and on the StarStories DATELINE sites are posted with the best of intentions and are never intended to hurt the people they’re talking about. Read them, and have fun.

    Another point is to share with all of you my own weird take on certain famous people, primarily Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Dakota and Elle Fanning, and Avril Lavigne. And maybe a few other “stars” here and there. Whoever I write about, I like a lot and am at least marginally if not obsessively familiar with their work. If I don’t like somebody, I won’t write about them.

    A final point, is publicity for these celebrities, although the publicity benefits them a lot more than it does me. “No publicity is bad publicity,” and before this is over, everybody on this blog is going to get A LOT of publicity. And get it in a way that makes readers like them even more, which is the whole point of publicity.

    Finally, though I say it all over the place, I will say it one more time here at the bottom: These stories are PARODIES. Although there are elements of truth and fact threaded in to lend a sense of realism, the stories as a whole are products of my imagination. I do not know these people, I am not related to these people, and I don’t work for these people.

    Okay?

    Good. Have fun!"
  14. monamia Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Damn

    I've always thought of North County (Del Mar area) as a safe haven with a little
    *Swami's* thrown in.


    (for a brief moment, I've found myself kind of admiring Ashley's good sense)
  15. MarcabEmpress Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    SAVE RUSTY!!!

    I am glad that on each page we remind people that this is satire, and pretty funny to.

    As previously mentioned Octoputhy
  16. Anonabliss Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Well the rice and beans is probably more than she's getting now.
  17. Anon Char Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    BALEETED! How unfortunate.
  18. King-Leonidas Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    "The Cylons were created by man. They rebelled. They evolved. There are many copies. And they have a plan."

    "They look and feel human. Some are programmed to think they are human."

    "Twelve Cylon models. Seven are known. Four live in secret. One will be revealed."

    [IMG]
  19. RedDevoHat Member

    Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Rumor has it that Mary Kate is a Scilon.

    Now she appears to be implicated in the death of Heath Ledger

    FOXNews.com - Mary-Kate Olsen to Feds: I Won't Talk About Heath Without Immunity - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment

    Actress Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to answer questions from federal authorities investigating the accidental overdose that killed actor Heath Ledger until she receives immunity from prosecution, The New York Post reported.

    ...

    When Olsen got the call that Ledger — whose performance as the Joker in "The Dark Knight" has earned rave reviews — was dead, she reportedly failed to call authorities, and instead telephoned her body guards. According to The Post, they arrived just as paramedics got to the scene.
    ===

    Ok boys... time to put your conspiracy theories up to see who's is so crazy... they make sense.
  20. TrevAnon Member

  21. Vir Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Source? Yes, even rumors should have sources.

    If true, it looks like this flash is more accurate than first expected:
    Scientology Lulz.swf
  22. Kilia Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    It is a very strange set of circumstances regarding MKO.
    Really quite bizarre to say the least.
    Hopefully the authorities will get a subpoena and then get some straight answers over this tragic death.

    My theory?
    I think MKO takes drugs and Heath and her had the same dealer.
  23. Unlisted Member

  24. Optimisticate Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    If she wants immunity, it is most likely because she can be implicated in his death because she provided him with the drugs, not because they had the same dealer.

    Either that, or she's just as stupid as she looks.
  25. Kilia Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Again, only my theory. You may be right as well.
    Also the drug dealer will get implicated and there goes her connection.
  26. MarcabEmpress Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    MKO being a scilon comes from a very lulzy article linked above, which is a parody and the reason I have "save rusty" in my sig.
  27. Mouseyhair Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Wow.

    inb4 The Cable Guy.
  28. Anonyneko Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Time to test Heath for Niacin? =x
  29. Sailor Venus Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Jeez, I grew up watching MaryKate and Ashley Olsen. Those two had everything they could ever need (materially speaking) by the time they were like five. Why do these people need to get fucked up on drugs?
  30. Anonabliss Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Olsen twins got creepy as they got older. They look like anorexic crack whores.
  31. RedDevoHat Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    I think the chain of events went like this.

    (Enter Massage Therapist who discovered dead body)
    "Hello Mr Ledger, it's time for your Swedish Rubdown... ZOMG Mr. Ledger! ZOMG! Someone help."

    (enter Mary Kate)
    "What's doing on?"

    (mt)
    "He's dead!"

    (mk)
    "ZOMG! Let me call some people!"

    (mary kate makes first phone call)

    (MT)
    "Did you call the police?"

    (MK)
    "Nope?"

    (MT)
    "O RLY?"

    (MK)
    "Ya RLY!"

    (MT)
    "You should call the police

    (MK)
    "Nope I need to maintain the integrity of the crime scene and make sure everything gets taken care of before they show up... so I'm gonna make two other phone calls... and THEN call the police.

    (Police finally show up)
    "Ms Olsen, why didn't you call us Immediately?"
    (MK)
    "I'm not talking to you without a lawyer!"
  32. RedDevoHat Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen & Heath Ledger's Death

    Lets be honest, it's Hollywood Justice.

    Worst case scenario for her.

    Charged with Obstruction of Justice
    Plea Bargains to Failure to Report
    Sentenced for 10 days in county
    Gets a hangnail, and released after 20 minutes for "medical evaluation."
    Writes a book on this tragic ordeal.
    Goes back to work.
  33. AnonMSW Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Hai nao! Don't be insultin Krak Ho's!

    Edit: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a picture of a crack whore on Google Images who isn't performing an oral sex act? Neither did I. Gave up digging after a certain point. There's only so much one can take for the team trying to make a visual joke!
  34. Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    That's got to be a satirical piece...
  35. Plups Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    The entire blog is gone?
  36. Xenusthenes Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    “Unconscious in Dianetics doesn’t necessarily mean like knocked out, but just when you’re really hurting physically or emotionally and you’re not able to process with your analytical mind.”

    Not like Psychology doesn't work on this in much greater detail that Hubbard's uninformed works.

    EDIT: Nevermind, I just read below the video.
  37. Smurf Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Mary-Kate is not a Scilon particularly if she is doing drugs. The Scilon cult may be an evil, corrupt and global scam operation, but is doing drugs is a huge no-no. My boss in OSA who joined the cult as a teen, became a devoted Scilon and rose in the ranks to assume the job of running & over seeing OSA ops in 26 states was never allowed to vacation on the Freewinds because he admitted to smoking marijuana as a teen.

    Get this. The FBI still has their eyes on MK:
    Mary-Kate Not Entirely Free - The Awful Truth - E! Online
  38. Honk_Honk111 Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    Completely unrelated, but Mary Kate Olsen looks like a fucking holocaust victim. I saw one picture of her where you could see her ribs through her back, I didn't even know that was possible.
  39. misskittie Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    MKO=OxyContin fiend. Swapped her addiction to anorexia to hillbilly heroin.

    Last time I checked, pill fiends are a no no in Scifaggotry so I doubt that MKO is one. I'll bet my house she's done a Narconon course and the sci's realised she was too far gone for even they to get involved with. Yes she has cash but man, is it worth it? Hell no!

    If MKO didn't give Heath the Oxy then I'll fly to the moon tonight on Santa's sledge.
  40. an_anonymous Member

    Re: Mary Kate Olsen a scilon?!!??!!111

    I dont care if its fake my brain just died

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