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How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

Discussion in 'How To Instructions' started by overlordFT, Jan 28, 2009.

  1. overlordFT Member

    How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    1. Write a series of Sci fi books until you have enough money to be taken seriously.
    2. Start writing another sci-fi book, and half way through, realise that this would make a great cult religion!
    3. Finish the book, market it to unsuspecting people.
    4. Now that you have a base following start writing books full of bullshit you daydreamed of and tell everyone that the stories in the books are what actually happened.
    5. Watch as sheeple flock around your cult.
    6. Make a tough decision, should we all kill ourselves or should we all try and take over the world?
    7. Decide we should take over the world with our evil cult.
    8. 50 years later your dead but your cult is still going stronger then ever and abusing more children and destroying more families then you can shake a mudkip at, just like you orrigionally intended it!
    9. ???
    10. Profit!

    Good how-to eh?
  2. N. Ron Rubber Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    9. ???
    10. THE PROFIT!
  3. N. Ron Rubber Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    *double post is fail*
  4. Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    Wow, this is awesome...!
    I might have to give it a go!

    I think I'll call my cult Ygolotneics...
    (Did you see what I did thar?)
  5. yellowdingo Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    Dang it! I was so into starting my own nonprofit church...you have shown me the error of my ways. Religion must be about money and followers.

    But incase you do want to join my non profit church of Universal Truth:



    Church of Universal Truth

    Doctrine of Truth

    1. String Theory Invalidates Religion and Evolution
    2. The Universe is Debris of change in possibility
    3. Time is continuous change in possibility
    4. The Singularity is the moment of change in possibility
    5. Only life can create change in possibility, and only from outside the universe.

    Political Agenda

    Every act of Government requires the direct and regular approval of every citizen.

    Membership Fees

    None
  6. Anonymous Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    I am gonna give this plan a go.

    1. Tell people it should all be about trying to bring the whole world up together, but never ever attach a face to the religion.
    2. Write a bunch of sci-fi books under a Pen name that promote said lovey dovie belief system.
    2. Give everything away for free, but tell people the church or cult who cares needs donations to build a spaceship to get off this planet before some crazy shit happens.
    3. Relax, and enjoy the fortune without any of the fame, and try and get some real scientists to build a real spaceship.
    4. Be long dead before a useful spaceship is built, but hey the ride was fun, and no one ever knew it was me that came up with that crazy shit.
    5. Send your followers free coolaid packets in the mail monthly. ((Secretly process this coolaid with LSD, and Trichomes; It is always good to have a legion of zealots at your disposal.))
  7. LocalSP Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    No membership fees??? Are you out of your mind?
  8. RightOn Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    since #9 it is blank....
    I say.... be sure to spread it like cancer to all third world countries under various front group names and use fake drug programs world wide to subsidize your empire. BWA HA HA
  9. yellowdingo Member

    Re: How to: Become the rich leader of a crazy cult

    You are right...we do need funds. The church of Universal Truth should accept Donations to finance the construction of Highrise Worker Barracks and Urban Farms.

    Now all we need is a US chapter who will testbed the Church policies in a US setting.

    First we need a Website and Account to which donations can be made.
    Then a Chapter will establish in high priority locations one city after the next.

    Anyone from LA interested?
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
  10. Ersatz Global Moderator

    Drive by necromancy I see.

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