Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

Discussion in 'Flash Raids' started by Mazack, Feb 13, 2008.

  1. Mazack Member

    Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

    Portland OR~
    During our last mini raid, I noticed that our local "Church" had an advertisement for "Free Lecture! Wednesday at 7PM!" So I thought to myself, what better time to hand out valentines?

    The valentines I made up quick: ... entine.png

    I managed to grab a fellow brave anon (anonytable4) for the mission. Had to make it clear that this would be a masks-off mission. She was nervous, as was I. Another (huzzah) came with us to cover our escape.

    We arrived at the church a few minutes before 7pm and were met by a few smiling scientologists. The asked us our names and we gave fake ones of course. One elderly German accented woman recognized me from several weeks earlier when I had reconned the church's interior. "You the one that watch video!" I smiled and said "Yes, good to see you again." We told them that we were there for the 7pm lecture. The scios paused for a moment before the receptionist chimed "Oh right it's Wednesday!" I cursed inwardly because I had hoped there would be more than just us anons there there for it. Clearly the public doesn't have much interest in their free lectures.

    One younger male Scientologist told the others that he'd handle the lecture and led us down to a pulpit with a bunch of chairs, a podium and of course a overly large portrait of LRH accompanied by a bronze bust of him shirtless (with manly pecks lol). We waited for a while and chatted with a scio who told us that she was in highschool and was training to sell books and be a supervisor. I was getting nervous and I could tell anony was too. Finally the man came back out with a whiteboard and started in on a half assed lecture.

    "You've probably seen our symbol before, the S with the triangles? Well the corners of the triangles stand for Affinity, Communication, and Reality." He continued to explain how they all needed each other and blah blah blah usual lame psychological bull crap that you can find at any self-help place.

    I got impatient after listening to his garbage for five minutes and said "Speaking of affinity and communication... which you seem to like... I made some valentines! Would you like one?" Anony and I stood up with our valentines in hand and proceeded to give them out to all the scios present. I took off in a brisk walk toward their back offices while Anony started handing them out to the people at the front desk. I heard the lecture man say "Wait wait, you shouldn't go back... Hey! Oh no, I know what this is... GUYS! These people are with anonymous. HEY! You can leave no no dont go back there. You can leave, come on now."

    Managed to go into 5 offices and handed cards to several surprised looking Scios with a big smile on my face, saying "Happy valentines day!" before walking out of the office area. The lecture man met me and started leading me to the door saying "Come on man, you can leave come on..." I tried to give one to a pregnant gal who was chiming "You're trespassing! You're trespassing!" over and over but she didn't take it. The people at the front counter were looking at the cards Anony had given them. with big frowny faces. Anony and I walked out the door and Huzzah covered our backs as we left. No tails sited.

    All in all a successful mission.
  2. AnonKiwi Member

    brave anon is BRAVE!

    I think you just won the internet?
  3. Mazack Member

    well needless to say, I won't be going back to that street without a mask again.
  4. evey Member

    DUDE, that is so awesome. i wish i had the balls to do that.

    huge kudos to you!
  5. Comrad3 Member

    When Mazack walks down the street, nobody can mistake his identity. He is the only man who clanks as he walks.

    Brass balls man, brass balls.
  6. You and your brah are both awesome. Mad props to you.
  7. AnonKiwi Member

  8. Wa

    Some read them? Fuckwin man, I wish I would've known, could've gone with. D:
  9. Dammit, I wish I would have had something like this in Philly. You sir can have my internets.
  10. Enux Member

    Re: Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

    Funny he phrased it that way - maybe it's because they normally are supposed to do the exact opposite of that, trying to get the people to stay.
  11. Drink Member

    Fantastic job.

    Actually, you could do this sort of thing with any number of events/holidays. It's very long term plans of course, but it could work.

    Say, on Halloween, a group of people (or even throughout the day) can go trick-or-treating at your local chapter. Or caroling at Christmastime (Though secular songs like Jingle Bells over religious ones like Silent Night would probably go over better to avoid the persecution labelling). On Easter, which is coming up soon, you could leave a basket of chocolate goodies with a similar card attached overnight.

    Oh, and even better, sending Mothers and Fathers day cards, as very likely a good number of them have severed ties with their parents.
  12. Balls=Steel

    1000 Internets
  13. Freelanceradp Member

    Was the younger guy named 'Tony'?

    I know the preggo is 'Emily.'


    They have a poster inside one of the rooms that lists up to OTXV
  14. chimera Member

    I commend your bravery. :>
  15. calliopecat Member

    omg awesome!
  16. Grey Anon Member

    Duke Nukem salutes these Anons.
  17. CandyWaffles Member

    Hurray for namefagging. Dangerous, but you couldn't pull this off with masks, well done :D

    Am I the oly one that suspects a massive flood of EFG this Halloween? :p
  18. Antipathy Member

    Mazack is clearly over 9000.
  19. ANOVA Member

    So very very brave. Well done!
  20. Spot Member

    holy shit that is so much god damned win
  21. su0myn0nA Member

    Gigantic brass balls dude, you have them.
  22. NamelessTX Member

    Yikes. You guys are now on their surveillance tapes and stuff, I hope it was worth it.
  23. FreePlay Member


    Yep, this one[/url:3n6iyky6].
  24. AnonEmeece Member

    Re: Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

    :confused: You crazy SOB. I drove by today and yelled out," Scientology kills" but that has nothing on this.

    You sir are the bravest /b/rother ever.

  25. MaulMachine Member

    Re: Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

    Congratufuckinggodadamnlations, you magnificent son of a bitch.
  26. Re: Handing out Valentines inside the Portland CoS

    Holy crap, you are an Anon. GOD. Well done!

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