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Gianna Kali of BeyondMeds.com: Leaked emails, email addresses, etc.

Discussion in 'CoS Front Groups' started by YoshillerK, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. YoshillerK Member

    Uncertain of any concrete proof that her website @beyondmeds.com is $cio or not. Yes, she does advertise Safe Harbor on her website. Just in case... And because she's gaining too much popularity in the woo woo world for my liking:

    Real Name: Monica Cassini. Lives in North Carolina, USA; From California, USA; Moved to NC in approx. 2003
    Email addresses: monicacassani@gmail.com, giannakali@gmail.com

    "Confidential" emails summary: Bashes Dr. Peter Breggin, MD even though he is her "colleague"; Pretty sure she admits to using heroin; Says her husband was a monk; Says she has a degree in "religion". All emphasis/bolded words added by me, and in the emails are in chronological order.

    The emails:
    Gianna
    Re: (No subject)
    « Sent to: prhiannon on: April 16, 2010, 10:18:29 PM »

    hi...thanks for asking after me...
    I never know how to answer how are you these days...
    I'm hanging in there.
    had a nasty bout with a psychotic process that was linked to hormones...and today I felt stoned on heroin without the bliss...
    ahhh...benzo withdrawal...
    the psychotic thing was really really awful...lasted 5 or 6 or 7 days...lost track
    the heroin like sedation is not nearly as bad...
    how's that?
    how are you?
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    Re: (No subject)
    « Sent to: zoe123 on: April 21, 2010, 10:40:15 AM »
    one of us is going to have to invite the other with an email address..that didn't work...
    monicacassani@gmail.com if you are comfortable with that...if not I understand...
    can you delete this email when you get it...I don't want my name on this board...thanks.
    [Commentary by Yoshiller: Whoops. Too late for that. And she didn't mean the WWT board, of course.]
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    « Sent to: jemangel on: April 24, 2010, 07:35:16 PM »
    that's exactly what got to me!! and you put it better than I did...
    new age clap trap.
    I greatly appreciate your presence on this board.
    where in CA are you?
    I'm from the Bay Area...went to school at CAL after growing up in Salinas and then stuck around in Berkeley, SF and Oakland until 7 years ago when I moved to NC with my husband...
    I miss CA so much it hurts even though I live in the mountains and it's very beautiful.
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    Re: (No subject)
    « Sent to: jemangel on: April 30, 2010, 08:19:05 PM »
    Quote Reply Remove
    Quote from: jemangel on April 30, 2010, 07:35:45 PM
    "May I ask? Is your husband Tibetan? Is he still Buddhist?"
    Hi...no my husband is a brit...he was a monk in the Gelukpa tradition many years ago for (I think) about 7 or 10 years.
    He no longer considers himself Buddhist, no, but he's, of course, greatly influenced by those years of his life. We connected initially because of our mutual interests in Buddhism and religion..we both got our university degrees in religion.
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    Re: (No subject)
    « Sent to: jemangel on: May 01, 2010, 05:32:07 AM »
    I've had internet stalkers and two different people started public blogs whose sole purpose was to discredit me and my work on my blog... [Edit by Yoshiller: Not me; I wasn't around in 2010]

    I once had a fund raiser for a friend who was rendered homeless from drug withdrawal and was also on the brink of death (serious organ issues) and someone else who KNEW the truth libeled me ON MY BLOG...while I still had little moderation...they told everyone on my blog and then on their own that I made up my friend Amy and was pocketing the money...

    That is why I don't have comments on the blog enabled anymore...it's read by way too many people and I have no control...I routinely got vicious hate mail from people that my message threatened.

    the internet is a fucking jungle. whatever can be done here on this board would be no different. though I don't tolerate shit anymore...I leave.

    your warning did fuck with me though. I'm horribly sensitive and would not survive an attack here. I would be gone in about 2 seconds. but I've gotten used to needing to protect myself...it's hardly like I can't see this place is filled with loose cannons...

    people on psych drugs are by definition loose cannons.
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    Re: Injured by chemicals
    « Sent to: sog210 on: June 08, 2010, 05:50:43 AM »
    Hi,
    yes, I know lots of people who have been polydrugged on including lithium...

    I will tell you we in these groups know much more about successful withdrawal than either Grace Jackson or Breggin...we have the collected knowledge and experience of thousands...they don't. They're scientists more than anything and report from the laboratory or a very small practice.

    I would not travel any distance to meet either one of them. I know both of them as well...believe me you will get much more loving and accurate support in these groups with your peers.

    I'm not well enough to do one on one support now, I'm sorry about that. But the withdrawal advice on Paxil Progress and here too is applicable to all the psych drugs. ALL OF THEM...it's good to stop feeling like you're unique and suffering more than anyone else as quickly as you can...or at least keep reminding yourself of that fact (I am subject to such thinking as well, so I understand)

    you can also check out http://medfree.socialgo.com/ it's not very active but most of the people are polydrugged and you will find others who have been on lithium...the man that runs the site, Moss, came off a lot of drugs and Lithium too...

    they (medfree.socialgo.com) DO NOT have the collective knowledge on how to safely withdraw that Paxil Progress and these benzo boards have though so you need to get your info in those places too if you want to remain safe.

    I'm a big believer in using some key supplements and PP and the benzo boards in general are opposed to them...because it's true you really need to know what you are doing...

    Breggin and Jackson don't know ANYTHING about supporting the body through natural and holistic means and tend to scoff at those who do. They are not people persons and can be detrimental to recovery...they've written extremely important books that add to the knowledge base and we need those books, but, again, they are not good with us and in fact are quite insulting. I know both of them as a professional...I am in professional groups with them as I was a social worker...I communicate with them with some frequency...

    Please do not repeat anything I've said...to anyone, please. I do associate with them as colleagues and I say this to you as a peer.
    ........
    Beyond Meds
    http://bipolarblast...com/ (this link doesn't seem to appear correctly on the site...do a google search for Beyond Meds and you'll find me)

    Took me over 6 years but I'm off all 6 drugs after 25 years of polydrugs...lots of info on other psychotropics on Beyond Meds...as well as the benzo
    ____________________________________________________________________
    Gianna
    hi marigold
    « Sent to: marigoldgirl81 on: August 12, 2010, 05:08:22 PM »

    not sure when you left your comment...this is first time I've been back since I wrote my note...
    you can send email to giannakali@gmail.com
    I can't always answer right away but I will see it eventually.
    thanks for sending such a nice note my way...
    ____________________________________________________________________

    And what the hell... Here's a picture of her:
    [IMG]
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  2. Anonymous Member

    I'm positive Gianna Kali and BeyondMeds have nothing to do with Scientology. She's a psychiatric survivor of polypharmacy, just as she says.

    Gianna Kali ran an article critical of Scientology by Bruce Levine. She wrote a post warning people about dangerous detox centers and specifically warns people not to go to Novus, run by Steven Hayes: "Steven Hayes is a Scientologist. I imagine his theories on withdrawal are influenced by them and CCHR as well. I unfortunately found this information out too late. It’s a red flag."

    I am also a psychiatric survivor and circulate in the anti-psychiatry space. I avoid anything related to Church of Scientology. I'm not much for any cult or religion. As Robert Whitaker has noted, the presence of CoS muddies the movement that has very valid criticisms of psychiatry.

    You don't have to be a Scientologist to have reservations about psychiatry. Lots of people have been injured by psychiatric treatment, and they're angry about it.

    The messages you hacked don't seem very damning to me. It looks like you're making a mountain from nothing.
  3. YoshillerK Member

    Robert Whitaker's book was funded by CCHR. He can talk about being "muddled" all he wants to, but it was his choice.

    Hacking is illegal; I didn't hack these.

    I did say, GK/M Casssani advertised Safer Harbor, so these were "just in case".
  4. Anonymous Member

    Lots of fringe dwellers. When your brain gets stuffed up like hers you can start to believe lots of crazy things, become venerable to lots of cult like groups, without being an active supporter as such.

    Either way she sounds like she needs real help
  5. The following are just a few examples of the unhinged babble this disingenuous con runs in her endless victimization, detox, and fundraiser scams. Would you give money to this crack pot? She appears to prey upon the weak as master manipulators do....
    Monica Cassani always plays the victim as a ploy to gain creditability It's the trump card in her deck of slight of hand tricks. http://www.madinamerica.com/2013/10/psychiatric-survivors-think-know/

    -about Monica-
    _______________________________________________________
    Anonymous

    I’m a blogger that frequents many mental health blogs and didn’t know exactly where to post this comment and concern.
    ----, if you don’t wish to post this comment I will totally understand.
    My concern relates to “Beyond meds” Blog

    To be honest, I'm really not sure to think here! I try to rationalize this situation and still keep coming back to nothing but more unsavory questions.

    A few days ago she was raising money for an unnamed desperate dying friend.

    Then a short time later she decides it's more important that she gets a trip to a pampering detox center than this unnamed dying friend?

    Now she is off to detox and her unnamed friend? Well her unnamed friend is old news under the bridge I gather?

    Maybe people really need read through those roller coaster archives on "Beyond Meds" to see what's going on?

    I'm going now, and if my friend dies, oh well!

    Where is this money raised for this so called unnamed friend now?

    How does this dieing friend feel about this unbelievable change of events? Gianna did make unnamed dying friend a poster child for detox and an urgent emergency; until what! Gianna saw a great attention getting opportunity for herself; or in two days she self diagnosed that she was also dying and her urgency trumps her unnamed friend?
    Gianna obviously has a family she can call at any time for money and assistance
    Has a husband that makes a good living and income
    She personally collects disability income,
    Has a nice home that is completely paid for “as she has written on her blog”
    Yet in the throes of her horrible never ending 1 mg klonopin withdrawals she states she can spend 80 hours a week blogging while she at the same time can barely get to the kitchen for a glass of water?
    Then not even two weeks ago started a blog fund raiser because she deserves the funds?
    Has anybody out there really gone through serious drug withdrawals’?
    I have, and what she describes over five year period is not even close to reality. This Gianna has taken a serious behavioral personality disorder, and has plopped a victim label upon it called “drug withdrawal”.

    I'm sorry to have to write this, but this whole deal is really starting to stink to high heaven and it’s more than about time somebody started to ask the tough questions and demand a little truth for once.

    What I can't believe is that I'm the only one in the blog world that sees this utter Hypocrisy? No one is doing Gianna or like persons any favors by feeding their disorders with enabling validation.

    Are these not the very same people questioning the ethics, self serving behavior, and pure greed in Big Pharma, Psychiatry, and the Mental Health Industry?

    ------------------------------



    Off to mend in privacy
    2009 July 15
    Comments Off
    by giannakali
    I am taking an indefinite leave of absence from this blog and all the various activity in the mental health advocacy circles I frequent. I have been in the process of doing this for two days (it’s pretty amazing how entrenched I’ve become in a world that has no location) and the relief I feel gets bigger and bigger the more I become disentangled.
    I have deactivated all email accounts with the various groups I’m involved in as well as my facebook page.
    At some point in the future I may do something with all I’ve learned while I wrote this blog but I have no idea what that might be right now.
    For now this blog will remain here as a resource. The numerous tabs at the top of the page here have oodles and oodles of information and links to additional resources.
    Please use them.
    For now there are quotes of the day that will continue to post daily until the end of the month as they are pre-scheduled. This post is sticky and should stay on top.
    This has been a wild ride and I have to thank you all very much. This blog, as far as I could tell was amongst the top three in mental health on the blogosphere. Look here for some interesting stats on many of your favorite blogs. Just put in the URL and if you’re not listed you can add yourself.
    Hi folks–update on me and a bit about Amy

    2009 June 17
    My schedule is very different these days as I’m getting intensive IV nutrient therapy. I am gone for several hours a day while I sit in a cushy reclining chair watching DVDs on my computer while nutrients drip into my veins. Alternately, I occasionally chat with others getting IV therapy, which has proven quite delightful as some of us have common issues and lastly I also spend time meditating while there at times. It’s a calm and peaceful environment.
    I am still on a rocky road, but it’s clear that I can move this taper along in a way I’ve not been able to before and SAFELY at my own pace. This doctor who I finally found in my own backyard actually listens and lets me control everything and she really and truly is familiar with every issue I’ve brought to the table.
    I’ve not met another doctor who has the scope she has. It’s pretty impressive. Also I’ve become very paranoid of all doctors alternative and otherwise because I find they all want to coerce you with whatever their world view is. I told her upfront my issues with docs and it was so obvious she got it AND we can talk openly about options and she doesn’t push her preferences on me…in fact it’s clear she doesn’t have strong preferences and trusts MY gut for MY recovery.
    During my initial interview with her toward the end of the consult she walked out of the office. I looked at Paul and said, “She’s been here this whole time. Right here, five minutes from our home.” I started crying. Sometimes life really doesn’t make sense. I went out of state to get on this path and only through doing that did I find her as someone who could continue what I started down there.
    She is internationally known and has patients come from all over the states and the world and I can clearly see why.
    I will keep you all apprised but right now I’m finding it hard to keep up with stuff as much. I am simply not available as often and also I’m tired and reading and writing has become more difficult.
    This blog remains a priority but my habits will be undoubtedly changing for a while. This includes comments being held in moderation for longer periods of time as I will continue to not be online for many hours a day that I normally was.
    Oh, I’ve been writing updates about Amy’s situation to the people who contributed to her fundraiser by email. Yesterday I found out I had left out one of the contributors. If you have not heard updates from me and did make a contribution please write me. My brain is fried and I’m afraid I may have left someone else off the list.
    Amy too seems to be finding her way, though it’s not the way we had hoped. I sent out an email asking if people would like to be reimbursed or whether it was okay to let the money go towards outpatient treatment. I’ve only heard back from about 50% of the group. Please do get back to me if you have not. And certainly let me know if you’ve not heard from me.


    by giannakali June 10, 2009
    When I go out of the house now. I am almost completely bedbound while in the house and rarely leave my house now, though occasionally I can make short trips to the store or go for a ride in the car to look outside or whatever.
    I have regained the eyes of a child. The lack of visual stimulation and being shut in my house has made the world look strangely novel when I do venture forth.
    I first took note of this when I drove down south a few weeks ago for treatment. I would get out of the car, where I was laying on a futon on the floor of a mini-van, also stopping my viewing of the world. Anyway, I would get out and wander into a convenience store and use the restroom and then walk around oddly fascinated with everything on the shelves.
    All the color and variety! Strangely a pleasurable experience for my deprived senses. I started making jokes about it on the drive down. Who would ever consider a convenience store all garish and what not, beautiful?? Me!
    Now I notice it every time I’m in a car as I look around the natural beauty that is my home, or the rare occasions I go into a store or now, I’m actually going to a doctors office daily as I’m finally getting my IV nutrients. I soak in the view whatever it is. Faces of new people, the forest, the food display in my health food store.
    There is something beautiful in the way I soak up the world with my eyes. I wish it hadn’t come to me this way but it’s like I’ve awaken to the simple wonders of the world. And the wonder that is sight. Very strange.


    by giannakali June, 8, 2009
    If we think about the vast majority of human problems, both on a personal and on a worldwide scale, it seems that they stem from an inability to feel sincerely involved with others, and to put ourselves in their place. Violence is inconceivable if everyone is genuinely concerned with the happiness of others. – Matthieu Ricard
    Absolutely and that’s why “us and them” shit will never get us anywhere and in my saying so I get attacked for even suggesting psychiatrists are human—as we all are. It’s a mad mad world.
    Hatred will only entrench us deeper into the hell. I’ve been cursed and metaphorically spit on when one person disdainfully called me a “bridge builder.” As though that was a horrible, horrible thing. It was the first close relationship I made on the internet that ended badly because I dared not hate enough in this person’s estimation.
    I won’t stop communicating with anyone who will listen regardless of their degree, history or current occupation. If you want to hate me for that you go right ahead and do so. I won’t hate you back. I understand the rage…and I feel it too…I simply attempt to take responsibility for it.
    And it doesn’t mean I condone crimes committed by those I might communicate with either. You need not condone something and you can still not hate.
    I believe in the power of human beings to change. To wake up. To see their errors. I’ve done it myself. I need to do more of it myself. Who am I to condemn those who simply have different blind spots than I have??

    by giannakali June 2, 2009
    I’m not sure how much I’ll be posting. I’ve been doing strange things in my new and even more chronic state of exhaustion (not sure how more exhaustion IS possible, but it is), like going to bed at 9:30 and sleeping for 10 plus hours.
    My body is really messed up. I’m on virtually no drug anymore and feel more drugged out than ever.
    I don’t think I’ve heard of people like me in this stage of withdrawal sleeping so much and barely being able to keep my head up during the day.
    Most people complain of insomnia. I’m just weird anyway you look at it.
    We’ll see how the day progresses, but I’m hardly feeling creative at the moment and I stopped even being able to look at the computer for the most part by mid-day yesterday.
    giannakali permalink
    no…I’m not on NO drugs I said VIRTUALLY no drugs..
    I’ve got 20 mg of Valium to go.
    That is down from
    84 mg Concerta
    200 mg Zoloft
    11 mg Risperdal
    400 mg Lamictal
    3 mg Klonopin = 60 mg Valium (once I did the crossover)
    50 mg Seroquel
    so virtually drug free I think is appropriate…but drug FREE completely NO. I wish.
    The benzos are proving to be a major bitch…
    I do have some hope that once I start IV therapy as an outpatient here things might speed up as I was able to get off a much bigger chunk of drug then in the past when I was getting the IV’s out of state…both inpatient and outpatient.

    by giannakali June 2, 2009
    Amy is still not getting what she needs. I don’t know whether she is ever going to come up with the balance of money she needs to get proper care. Her life is still in danger but her family is not interested in helping and pretty much writing her off as crazy.
    She continues to hope for funds. At whatever point it becomes clear she will either be using your funds or not I will let you know.
    At that point if the outcome is that she is unable to get the balance you will all be reimbursed. Thanks for you patience.
    Please keep Amy in your thoughts and prayers—her situation remains dire.

    by giannakali
    I will be gone from 12 noon eastern time until about 7 or 8 pm. I may have a couple of posts scheduled but I’m not actually online.
    I’ll be seeing the doctor I met one more time for a final consultation and reviewing some lab work (it’s not all back) as well as getting one more IV nutrient pack.
    Then we will take off and drive a good part of the way home.
    So comments will not be approved until later tonight.

    So what is up with Gianna??

    2009 May 26
    by giannakali
    I’m sure you’re all wondering.
    Basically after being sucked in by seductively nice people (who were genuinely nice, but criminally ignorant) –the fact that they were nice people was validated by a key person in our movement who knew the director and my husband who spoke with them before I decided to go to their clinic. In any case I trusted them and I got heavily screwed and traumatized.
    They had acknowledged to me on the phone after I really pushed it that no they had never worked with someone with as extensive and mind-blowing a history on psych meds and so I asked them to be my partner and trust me as well.
    But in the end they determined they knew what was best and pushed a far too rapid withdrawal. (Frankly I think it had to do with my limited funds as a woman there who clearly had more means than I was scheduled to be there three times as long and had less drug to come off of)
    The bottom line is there is no one in any of the more enlightened detox centers who have worked with people with my history, but I know had I been able to make it out to my friend’s detox center that this would never have happened. I now know several people who have gone through that program and they do NOT ALLOW psychosis because it’s simply not necessary and they KNOW that psych med withdrawal is different and people MUST go at an individualized pace and not be pushed into a dangerously fast detox. These people told me psychosis was sometimes inevitable!! And refused to make it stop! Which would have simply involved reinstating some of the benzo had they listened to me when I first raised the alarm. Their program was all about “protocol” and though they gave lip service to “individualized” care it was bullshit.
    If I was well enough to travel by air I would have gone to my dear friend’s detox center and I still hope to do his sauna detox once I’m drug free and if I’m ever well enough to travel again.
    In any case here where I am, I insisted on changing the pace of the withdrawal and they refused turning into illicit drug rehab monsters claiming I was drug seeking as I slipped into psychosis. I went on like that for over 48 hours perhaps closer to 72 but it’s all a blur at this point. I ran. Literally bolted out of there. My mom being my savior in this instance.
    I’m fine but deeply re-traumatized and in a new way because these people were nice and respectful in general and so the mind-fuck is more delicate and complicated.
    Because they were also arrogant assholes who deemed to know my truth and basically did not believe me when I told them I was headed to psychosis ONLY because of their WAY TOO RAPID withdrawal schedule. THIS DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN!!! They basically told me I wasn’t hanging tough enough—you had to be tough to get off benzos and I apparently didn’t have what it took. Nice way to shame me. Pretty.
    Forget about the fact that I’ve been hanging tough for 5 years coming off all this shit. That fact was lost on these losers who couldn’t understand I didn’t fit in their nice little box of people who do well in their program. And it’s clear people do alright in their program. I cringe though to think how many people are left to be re-traumatized alone in their rooms because that’s “part of the deal,” rather than having enough staff so that someone can be with them in their darkest hours of withdrawal. Illicit drug addict or not, we all deserve that sort of care and they neither had enough staff nor appropriately trained staff for trauma care.
    It was that whole reformed drug addict mentality. It’s gotta hurt real bad coming off drugs. That’s just part of the deal. All the staff were ex-addicts. That’s what they learned and that is what they went through. But none of them had my psychiatric and trauma history and didn’t know jack shit about how to deal with someone regressing into PTSD land and eventually what was going to turn into toxic psychosis.
    They had NO TRAUMA informed care. As I slipped into crisis and despair they left me alone in a room with no support for hours on end. Cruel ass fucks who thought they were doing good. Most frightening couple of days in my life.
    I escaped on Thursday of last week, so it’s still fresh and painful and I’m tender and raw.
    So what is good here? I will salvage the good. A few good things have come out of it.
    1) I finished the crossover to Valium.
    2) I’m on less of a total dose of benzos than when I started the program even though I had to take emergency measures to maintain my sanity including two days of .5 mg of Risperdal. (I’m a pragmatist, people…I preferred that rather than going into a TOXIC psychosis—an organic psychosis is something altogether different which I would have entertained going into and through had I had the proper supports.) I only took the extra drug for two days and now I’m down to a lower level of benzos than when I made my way down here.
    Crises such as these are really the only time these drugs can be used responsibly—of course this would never have happened had I not been irresponsibly put on drugs in the first place!
    3) My bodily pain, the pain I feel mostly in my limbs and spine has almost completely abated. I don’t know if that is because it was the Klonopin detox causing it and I am no longer on Klonopin or because the IV therapy, but I’m in very little pain anymore.
    Granted I still can’t walk around or sit up much because of weakness and low blood pressure but often it was pain that kept me down. So as long as the pain relief continues it’s one less hurdle to being up and about.
    4) I still believe I’ve found a doctor I can work with down here who is good, but that remains to be seen. I see her today and tomorrow for IV nutrients and on Thursday I have a follow up appointment with her.
    I’ve had dozens of tests done and my clearly screwed up endocrinology system may finally be addressed appropriately.
    5) IV nutrients DO actually seem to be very good stuff. Where they fucked up was in taking me off the benzo way too fast. The fact that I am on a lower dose of benzos than I would have been otherwise attests to this fact. I can continue getting IV nutrients and aminos on an outpatient basis even when I return home.
    6) I have a new, deeper and profound appreciation of my husband who heroically drove down here over night after he talked to the staff and realized they had their heads up their asses. He too thought they sounded grounded and safe before I entered the program but when a nurse suggested I was drug seeking while I was in crisis he knew they were way off base and he came down here, my hero.
    7) My mom too has once again proven her deep and abiding love for me and been by my side.
    Lastly, I want to thank everyone here among my readers for respecting my privacy so profoundly. I put moderation on on purpose in case anyone got nosy before I was ready to talk. This has been painful and humiliating really. The trauma feels like a rape. Before this morning I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever speak of it.
    Interestingly enough all my friends, and all of you who are labeled showed your wisdom by only wishing me well but not asking intrusive questions.
    Do you know the only person who asked multiple intrusive questions was a psychiatric nurse??? A woman who said she had been following my “plight” for quite some time but someone who had never left a comment and never had corresponded with me ever. She had the nerve to ask me what was going on but didn’t even wish me well. A total and complete stranger.
    I found it humorous and disturbing and so so sad too, as well as extremely annoying and maddening. And unfortunately all too demonstrative of the circumstances we face with mental health professionals. These are the people in our hospitals “caring” for us when we are in distress. People who do not understand respectful boundaries. Forget that I might need some privacy, she seemed to think I needed to talk on her schedule rather than mine.
    Whether you realize it or not I DO NOT SHARE everything and it is NOT your right to pry into my life EVER. What you get to see you see at my discretion and no one else’s.
    It’s not surprising that it was an ogling psychiatric nurse who would cross that line, is it? Someone who had never even shown concern for me, someone who had never left comment in all the time she’s followed my “plight” Someone I had never heard of. Someone who apparently thought they had a RIGHT to my story.
    No one has a right to my story. And I remind anyone who thinks otherwise that you only get a tiny slice of me here. You do not know me and I owe you nothing.
    I’m leaving the site on moderation, maybe permanently, as the last person who hurt me was “one of us” who had been cleared to leave comments without moderation. I don’t want to deal with shit anymore and I need to put my recovery first. So I’m sorry things need to be moderated but I am not going to leave myself open at this time.

    2009 May 17
    tags: fundraiser
    by giannakali
    Amy has been so crippled, traumatized and cognitively impaired by her circumstances she had to get help from her friend to write the below. She also happens to be very very smart with a mind for medicine so she does go into some detail.
    She has not had access to a computer. With much painful effort she has finally written to all her friends and asked that I publish the result here.
    You are still welcome to continue helping her get into the appropriate care facility. She discusses her options below. Her family wants her to go to the most comprehensive and most expensive program but yet is not footing the whole bill, so all her friends, church members and this community is still encouraged to help.


    by giannakali april 15 2009
    Okay. I’ve arrived. I actually came in yesterday as the trip here–two days in the car, was rough.
    I feel a bit like I’m in the twilight zone. In some good ways, and some not so good.
    The first thing I did before entering the center was go see a doc. She was the most awesome doc I’ve met. She was down to earth and gentle and loving. I found out she was a nurse for many years before she became a doc. I think that is a significant thing about her. She spent 4 hours with me!! She listened attentively and did a long history as well as a complete physical and drew LOTS of blood. Her staff were all really great too. There was a wonderful male nurse from Trinidad who looked and had the energy of a big teddy bear. So kind. Her daughter was the receptionist also a very sweet young woman. Her nutritionist was competent and very sweet.
    Nothing was decided at the doctors yesterday. We will await the lab work which included blood, spit, and urine. We will have a follow up in two weeks and then again in about a two months because it will take that long to get the all month long hormone panel she is having me do which starts three days after my next period.
    After the four hours with the doc I went to the center. She encouraged me to not wait until the next day as I might find some comfort sooner.
    We were greeted by torrents of rain as we drove up to the door and were greeted by one of the counselors with giant umbrella in hand. I had been lying in the back of a van the whole way, on a futon. I asked that I be allowed to go straight to my room as I was exhausted by the doctor’s appointment. So exhausted. I’ve not talked to anyone for more than an hour in months on the phone, or in my life or anywhere. I find talking excruciatingly exhausting and so I avoid it. I was wasted.
    What awaited me for the next four hours? Four more hours of talking. I had a sore throat by the end of it. Intake, nurse, counselor, IV nutrients. Boom, boom, boom. Wasted off my ass. Sick as hell. Scared. Tired. I want to die. All of this in the course of the day. Really not much different than every day in some ways.
    They got me started on a blend of IV nutrients and amino acids. Was hoping for so me quick relief, was told I might get quick relief. No such luck. I felt much worse throughout the IV. I got really scared as a result of that. Will it work? Can it work? Will I come out worse than I came in?
    It’s not that I don’t know it works for some people, I do know that. But I have always been trickier and stranger than “most people” and here I was feeling worse and worse as their concoction went into my vein.
    All the horrible stories about detox experiences started flooding my mind. I’ve heard hundreds of them. They are ALL about traditional detox centers. Not places like this. I am afraid though that for me it won’t be different that I might end up worse off.
    After about 3 hours on the IV it was done and once I was off it I had a bounce in energy and felt very good for a couple of hours. I have yet to find out if it had anything to do with the IV or not. Today after another IV I will know more. The nurse said that it might take a couple of days but I will start feeling better.
    I’ve been taking my .375 mg of Klonopin and my 22 mg of Valium all at night. I’ve always taken ALL my drugs from the very beginning (save the stimulants) at night. Single dosing made my life much easier. I’ve known for quite a while that maybe I should stretch out the benzo three times a day but didn’t want to add additional discomfort to my life.
    So they made that choice for me last night. First they made the choice that I would complete the Valium crossover that I had discontinued half way through due to horrible symptoms.
    Once I had the very long lasting drug in my body I simply started cutting the Klonopin again. Anyway yesterday I was told they would complete the crossover. I have a lot of fear that they really don’t know how delicate I am, that they haven’t seen cases like mine. They do say they’ve seen people as debilitated as I am but they grant me they’ve seen no one with as an extreme history. I knew this. I took a leap of faith in coming here because I cannot continue like this. And frankly virtually no one any where has any experience with cases as complex as mine.
    It will soon be revealed if it was foolish decision to come here or not.
    So last night I went to bed with just 10 mg of Valium. That is 1/3 of what my current dose will be. This morning they will give me the 10 mg three times for a total of 30 mg.
    So I was given the 10 mg at bedtime, the Klonopin was cut out completely and I was expected to sleep on 1/3 of the dose I usually take. NOT A PRETTY PICTURE. I don’t know if it was psychological or physical but I couldn’t sleep and I began to be scared. I have no fucking idea if these guys can actually take me off safely. I really DON’T.
    I called them in at about 2 am and told them, “You know you just took me off (for the night) about 65% of my total dose. I’ve been withdrawing from drugs for 5 years. I’ve never made a cut of more than 10% and often I made cuts as small as 2.5% when needed. I can’t help but be freaked out and I’m not sleeping.” They gave me a PRN that had been ordered for me, 5 mg of Valium. And then they gave me a sort of energy/body work/massage which was very relaxing. I finally fell asleep at around 3 am.
    They woke me at 6 am for my morning dose!! I was mildly annoyed but realized they are trying to stabilize me. I said I realized that today I just need to get my full dose in me, but please, in the future not to wake me for a dose of medication. The nurse said no problem but I was right, today I need to get stabilized—she would make note not to wake me in the future.
    I feel like shit. Well, in any case, that is nothing new, but I’ve only slept 3 hours. My arms are in a lot more pain then usual. And it hurts to type.
    I did want to say that the level of respect I’m being treated with is astonishing. No psych ward I’ve been in or detox center I’ve visited (as a professional social worker I spent time in detox and rehab centers from time to time) treat people so well. So in that respect, at least, I am being treated humanely and kindly.
    Medically, on the other hand, I simply don’t know yet if they know what the fuck they are doing. But really I knew that coming in.
    I’m so wasted right now I have to stop. Hope I can say more later, but frankly, have no idea what direction this is going to move in. My tendency is to go silent on my personal shit when things are dark and ugly.
    Peace out.
    (finished at 7:30 am today—will be posted later)


    gianna
    Fundraiser??
    2009 April 27
    6 Comments
    by giannakali
    I have a donation tab at the very bottom of the right sidebar. It looks funky because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to do it right. So click on the link, not the button if you feel so inclined.
    I just want people to know it’s there.
    I will not ask for money again, at least not anytime soon and I’ve never done so before, but I do want to point out that I work up to 80 hours a week sometimes on this blog and if people are telling me the truth I make a difference in a lot of people’s lives.
    I’m also physically disabled and mostly bedridden so I have no means of getting an ordinary job that actually pays the bills.
    So the button is there and you can use it if you like.
    If you don’t use paypal ask me for a mailing address.
    Here is the funky link and for future reference it will always be at the very bottom of the right column on the blog.
    http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>
    Peace.
    from → endurance, health, holistic health, mental health, mental illness, nutrition, psychiatric drug withdrawal, psychiatric medications, psychiatry, recovery, spirituality
    2009 May 3
    Leave a comment
    by giannakali
    If anyone has donated and not receive a personal email from me thanking you, it did not go through. So far there has been no record of three people who told me they donated.
    Please let me know if you don’t get a personal response from my Gianna Kali account, because if you don’t hear from me it means it was not received.
    Thanks everyone. We’ve made about $400 so far. My friend needs about $10,000.
    Other groups and websites are helping out, so this $400 can help move us in the right direction. Please continue to give.
    Remember to hit the funny link and not the button…
    http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>
    from → fundraiser, health, pscyhiatric abuse, psychiatric toxicity
    Friend could die without immediate attention
    2009 May 3
    20 Comments
    by giannakali
    I casually mentioned a fundraiser the other day and said I would not ask for money again, at least not for long time. Well something has come up. And I am asking for money again. It’s not for me, it’s for a sister victim and close dear friend who has been poisoned by these drugs and may die.
    She needs to detox rapidly because her situation is so dire. I turned her onto the best rapid medical detox center in the country which I would only do in this sort of situation when death is the alternative to not withdrawing more slowly. They have accepted her with her medical frailty, but she does not have the money and her family, who does have the money, think she is crazy. They do not believe that she may die when in fact she may already be close to death.
    Her brief email to me follows:
    But really wanted to let you know I have been diagnosed with “encephalopathy” which has actually been around since at least July but my neurologist is finally admitting is from the Ativan. It is known as “hepatic encephalopathy” and is a liver issue and is the cause for my wandering, inability to take any other meds or supplements and cognitive disturbances. Also why Valium made me convulse and Depakote made me angry. Diagnosed through an EEG. I am trying to power down in a rapid taper, but am so ill I do not know what will happen. My GI in June will be able to diagnose severity if I make it till then. I am on their emergency list.
    If you read the wikipedia entry I link to you will see that, indeed, Ativan, a benzo can lead to this disease.
    I have already pledged to her the money you’ve already donated which amounts to $120 dollars. Now I ask that many more of you donate 5, 10, 15 or as much as you can afford. We might be able to help save a life. She, too, is reaching out to friends now for small donations. Someone has already agreed to pay her airfare.
    Please help. My friend is 30 years old. And she is a real friend and someone I love very much. Someone I’ve met and hugged and cried with in person.
    We have become so close because so many of our symptoms and problems are similar and we’ve been able to share deeply in a way few people can. Most people don’t know what it is to be so profoundly ill all because of the drugs. We share despair and anger, love and hope for a better future for others.
    This post is about the same friend. It’s now clear the reason she was suicidal was this encephalopathy.
    The donate button is here:http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>
    You need to click on the funky link. The “button” doesn’t work.
    Also it can always be found at the bottom of the right side-bar if you cannot donate now. You can also ask for my mailing address if you need to send a check.
    PLEASE SPREAD THIS APPEAL FAR AND WIDE IF YOU FEEL SO INCLINED.



  6. Life can change mighty fast…I’m going away…
    2009 May 5
    15 Comments
    by giannakali
    My condition has been getting progressively worse. I no longer am able to do some of the little things I enjoyed like cooking in 5 minute increments with lots of breaks.
    I now can essentially only get up to go to the bathroom and occasionally I can handle a trip to the fridge or to get a drink of water.
    I am in constant pain and nausea. I barely eat and have lost 50 lbs.
    This morning I woke up and I knew I could no longer do this. I have no quality of life. I am 100% dependent on others to meet my needs. It is no longer a tenable existence as long as there are possibilities out there and I do believe there are.
    I called the same detox center I referred my friend to. I called my mom, dad, sister and cousin all of whom have more money than we do.
    I now have the cash I need. I’m trying to work things out with the center to take me and my friend as part of the deal. I’m a full paying customer and she can pay whatever amount she manages to fund raise as a down payment. I’m hoping they’ll go for that.
    So now again I ask for you to help my friend. I believe the odds of getting her in are now increased because I’m going and I’ve had a relationship with the director there for a while.
    Please, please help. The more money we have to offer as a down payment the more likely they’ll take her. I’m not sure where we’re at now but I’d say it’s about $1200.

    Click the funny link…the button does not work.

    http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>
    Please NO CAUTIONS about the dangers of detox centers!! NONE. I have done a ton of research and I know the pros and cons. Only good wishes allowed. If you have nasty things to say go tell it to a wall.
    If you’d prefer to mail a check please ask for my mailing address.
    from → detox, endurance, fundraiser, health, mental health, nutrition, psychiatric drug withdrawal, psychiatric medications, recovery
    Fundraiser continues…
    2009 May 5
    Leave a comment
    by giannakali
    My friend had to move today so she was mostly consumed by that. She did visit a doctor but being that she is on medicaid she has not been able to get good care and this doctor’s only suggestion was to go to ER which will lead, most likely to further drugging which got her into this predicament in the first place. So she is still hopeful that the fund raising we’re doing and her church is doing will continue to pan out.
    She will be contacting her siblings again soon as well as indicated in the last update.
    For a recap:
    a sister victim and close dear friend who has been poisoned by these drugs and could die.
    She needs to detox rapidly because her situation is so dire. I turned her onto the best rapid medical detox center in the country which I would only do in this sort of situation when death is the alternative to not withdrawing more slowly. They have accepted her with her medical frailty, but she does not have the money and her family, who does have the money, think she is crazy. They do not believe that she may die when in fact she may already be close to death.
    Her brief email to me follows:
    But really wanted to let you know I have been diagnosed with “encephalopathy” which has actually been around since at least July but my neurologist is finally admitting is from the Ativan. It is known as “hepatic encephalopathy” and is a liver issue and is the cause for my wandering, inability to take any other meds or supplements and cognitive disturbances. Also why Valium made me convulse and Depakote made me angry. Diagnosed through an EEG. I am trying to power down in a rapid taper, but am so ill I do not know what will happen. My GI in June will be able to diagnose severity if I make it till then. I am on their emergency list.
    If you read the wikipedia entry I link to you will see that, indeed, Ativan, a benzo can lead to this disease.
    Please help. My friend is 30 years old. And she is a real friend and someone I love very much. Someone I’ve met and hugged and cried with in person.
    We have become so close because so many of our symptoms and problems are similar and we’ve been able to share deeply in a way few people can. Most people don’t know what it is to be so profoundly ill all because of the drugs. We share despair and anger, love and hope for a better future for others.
    This post is about the same friend. It’s now clear the reason she was suicidal was this encephalopathy.
    We have now raised $850. But many donations are also coming by mail so I would imagine we’re over $1000 now. The pace of donations has slowed way down but it’s still coming in and I think we can still bring in a bunch more by weeks end…I’d love if she could go to her siblings and say, “I only need — this much because Beyond Meds and the Church have raised this — significant amount!”
    Thanks again so much to all of you who have donated.
    The donate button is here:http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>
    You need to click on the funky link. The “button” doesn’t work.
    Also it can always be found at the bottom of the right side-bar if you cannot donate now. You can also ask for my mailing address if you need to send a check.
    PLEASE SPREAD THIS APPEAL FAR AND WIDE IF YOU FEEL SO INCLINED.


    by giannakali
    My condition has been getting progressively worse. I no longer am able to do some of the little things I enjoyed like cooking in 5 minute increments with lots of breaks.
    I now can essentially only get up to go to the bathroom and occasionally I can handle a trip to the fridge or to get a drink of water.
    I am in constant pain and nausea. I barely eat and have lost 50 lbs.
    This morning I woke up and I knew I could no longer do this. I have no quality of life. I am 100% dependent on others to meet my needs. It is no longer a tenable existence as long as there are possibilities out there and I do believe there are.
    I called the same detox center I referred my friend to. I called my mom, dad, sister and cousin all of whom have more money than we do.
    I now have the cash I need. I’m trying to work things out with the center to take me and my friend as part of the deal. I’m a full paying customer and she can pay whatever amount she manages to fund raise as a down payment. I’m hoping they’ll go for that.
    So now again I ask for you to help my friend. I believe the odds of getting her in are now increased because I’m going and I’ve had a relationship with the director there for a while.
    Please, please help. The more money we have to offer as a down payment the more likely they’ll take her. I’m not sure where we’re at now but I’d say it’s about $1200.

    Click the funny link…the button does not work.


    http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>

    Please NO CAUTIONS about the dangers of detox centers!! NONE. I have done a ton of research and I know the pros and cons. Only good wishes allowed. If you have nasty things to say go tell it to a wall.
    Fundraiser—we’re doing great!! Let’s keep it coming!!
    2009 May 4
    2 Comments
    by giannakali
    We’ve raised $750 in less than 24 hours!! Thank you all for your very generous donations and I’m deeply moved that people who have never met this woman in need are helping out.
    She too is deeply moved!! I’ve talked to her several times today as the funds were coming in.
    She too has been organizing for herself. She has hooked up with a local pastor of a church who is doing a fundraiser as well. That church community may come up with some significant amount and I’m hoping we can still contribute more—let’s at least double what we’ve already done! If we can double in another 24 hours maybe we can triple it in 48.
    I’m going to run this all week long.
    My friend finds this so inspiring she has decided to approach her siblings again. They are wealthy but do not want to spend the money. They do not believe the severity of her situation and are discriminating against her because they think she is not stable. Too many of us know what it’s like to not be taken seriously once we’ve been marked crazy.
    In this instance her family’s neglect could kill her!!
    She is feeling empowered though by what we are achieving here and so is going to approach her siblings with what is happening here. Strangers are giving her money online and through a local church. This means her siblings don’t have to foot the whole bill and perhaps the fact that there are people out here helping her who also know her (like me and the minister) may lead them to think again.
    She also has been pledged her airfare by a friend.
    We are creating a atmosphere that will make this happen!! Please keep giving. I really believe it will help loosen up her siblings, one of whom I’ve spoken to before.
    Thank you so much for your generosity.
    Remember to click on the link and not the donate button!!
    http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/btn_donatecc_lg1.gif“>


    OK, here goes!
    Yes, we all have heard you tell everyone you know everything and know best! Why is it then you are still taking drugs after a five years withdrawal! I smell a scam, sniff sniff! Smells like more bullshit!


    Time to call out BULLSHIT! I would do this with psychiatry, pharma, injustice, and yes now with someone who I believe is a scammer and a fraud
    Is Gianni ill? Probably! But this kind of illness is a personality disorder that is not cured with more attention, raising money, and medicine.
    Gianni needs to take a long hard look at herself in the mirror and honestly ask what she is doing, take some personal responsibility, and deal with her own personality issues.
    Why am I calling her out? Because someone has too! She gives the anti psychiatry movement a bad name. I personally find what she does quite revolting to be quite honest.
    Will I be attacked for writing this piece? You’re damned right I will. So be it!


    Here we have a woman who spends by her own account 80 hours a week constantly writing numerous blogs, doing interviews, and a like. Yet she so ill she cannot function?
    I have withdrawn off these drugs and I know damned well you are not running a blog, posting every day, running an online support group site, and spending 80 hours a week doing in the throes of horrible withdrawal. BULLSHIT!

    2.

    This is someone who has a husband who is working full time, and makes obviously a pretty good living. You can see from the photos she has posted on her blog she is in want of very little in fact.
    Since she has stated on her blog that that wonderful and beautiful house she lives in with those pristine and well manicured gardens is totally paid for! You might want to ask many bloggers who are on disability, not meeting or barely making their modest bills, food expenses, and such; They sure do not have a big nice house or beautiful yard to brag about and know what living on the edge really means. Sorry, but Gianni does not fit that bill!

    3.

    She collects a disability check on top of her husband’s income!

    4. She has been withdrawing off a fairly small dose of 1 mg klonopin for months and months now (though she stops and starts quitting using others drugs and then goes back to the same drug again! WHY?). This whole withdrawal process has been going on for years (she states on her blog its being going on for five plus years now!). This appears to be a never ending process? To be as honest as I can here; at some point it’s no longer a withdrawal anymore. It is all reality just a bad crutch, a poor excuse, and yes bullshit!

    5. She had a fund raiser for herself a few weeks back? For what? For doing what other bloggers a do every day for no money just because they believe it’s right and important!
    Not proclaiming what a never ending victim they are? Gianni is the poster child of shaking one bad label made by psychiatry; and then replacing it with another label self inflicted upon her own self and life that is one to surely last forever.
    That’s her personal choice in fact; until she starts raising funds to line her pockets; then it has gone over the edge, crossed the line, and needs to be confronted for what it is! BULLSHIT!

    6. Now she pulls out she is doing a fund raiser for a friend in disparate need on May 3rd; but then on May 5th she decides overnight that she is now dying and needs to go with this so called friend to a withdrawal clinic? Send money now? I personally don’t think so kind and generous folks! Go ahead and feed the beast if you wish.
    Beyond Meds and Gianni are pulling off the great con in the name of what? I’m not biting. Maybe you should think long and hard before you push that PAY PAL BUTTON also.


    More Beyond meds hypocrisy


    My friend is at least very resourceful and does have friends helping her besides just myself. Her church too is still pitching in as well.
    So she is still raising money and may go to a different detox in CA that I also referred her to as the director is a good friend of mine and is willing to charge her less. It’s not an option for me because I can’t fly. I need to be able to lay down while driving. I cannot sit because my blood pressure is so low I get very ill if I sit for more than a few minutes, so I cannot go to my friend’s detox center.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    We are no longer going to the same place. I cannot travel to my other friend Lyle’s center in CA. I am not well enough.
    LIE: by giannakali
    I was grossly attacked yesterday by someone in the broader mental health blogging community. It’s in the last thread I did about going to detox.
    I can’t do this anymore now in this weakened sickened state.
    I gave the person attacking me information to clear my name so he has nothing to stand on, yet I’ve not received an apology.
    I am so deeply sickened and tired of the attacks made on me when I choose to share my deeply personal and painful journey that I simply cannot continue now.
    by giannakali
    I spoke with the detox center today. I will be admitted with no problem but if she does not come up with the cash they are too small of a facility to be able to afford taking someone on who does not pay upfront.
    I cried when I got off the phone. I called my husband in here and said, “How can I go if she doesn’t? She could die. Her situation is much more dire. She deserves this more than I do.”
    My condition has been getting progressively worse. I no longer am able to do some of the little things I enjoyed like cooking in 5 minute increments with lots of breaks.
    I now can essentially only get up to go to the bathroom and occasionally I can handle a trip to the fridge or to get a drink of water.
    I am in constant pain and nausea. I barely eat and have lost 50 lbs.
    This morning I woke up and I knew I could no longer do this. I have no quality of life. I am 100% dependent on others to meet my needs. It is no longer a tenable existence as long as there are possibilities out there and I do believe there are.
    I called the same detox center I referred my friend to. I called my mom, dad, sister and cousin all of whom have more money than we do.
    I now have the cash I need. I’m trying to work things out with the center to take me and my friend as part of the deal. I’m a full paying customer and she can pay whatever amount she manages to fund raise as a down payment. I’m hoping they’ll go for that.
    So now again I ask for you to help my friend. I believe the odds of getting her in are now increased because I’m going and I’ve had a relationship with the director there for a while.
    Friend could die without immediate attention
    2009 May 3
    20 Comments
    by giannakali
    I casually mentioned a fundraiser the other day and said I would not ask for money again, at least not for long time. Well something has come up. And I am asking for money again. It’s not for me, it’s for a sister victim and close dear friend who has been poisoned by these drugs and may die.
    She needs to detox rapidly because her situation is so dire. I turned her onto the best rapid medical detox center in the country which I would only do in this sort of situation when death is the alternative to not withdrawing more slowly. They have accepted her with her medical frailty, but she does not have the funds.
    Withdrawal Facility

    I am good friends with a man who runs an excellent psychiatric drug withdrawal facility in California. Truly a one of a kind facility.
    I spent two days visiting his center over a year ago and was given the privilege to participate while I observed. I was not in treatment there but I was curious about what they were doing.
    The program is in a beautiful historical Victorian building in San Francisco. It includes diet, nutrition counseling, psychotherapy with a trauma informed counselor, yoga, sauna, and many other features.
    With targeted nutrition and sometimes IV nutrients (off campus at the consulting doctor’s office) withdrawal can usually be achieved more quickly than when we do it at home.
    Certainly this is not a program for everyone. I knew it was not appropriate for me, for example. However, I now know several people who have successfully completed treatment there and one of them is a good friend. Drug free and doing well.


    The latest on my friend’s struggle towards wellness
    2009 May 10
    4 Comments
    by giannakali
    robertoamadeo has agreed to post easy stuff for me. I have a stock of stuff saved up so he now has access to my dashboard. Though he won’t be writing anything original there will be something to check out on the site. Also, as far as I know Leah will be continuing to post a weekly column. This blog is not dead.
    I will continue to post exclusively for my friend who I’m fund raising for as I make my way down to my the center I’m going to. I will not be answering questions or emails. I am truly trying to take a break but my friend needs me.
    We are no longer going to the same place. I cannot travel to my other friend Lyle’s center in CA. I am not well enough.
    Lyle Murphy, director of Alternative to Meds Center, the detox center I have referred my friend to has shared his suggestions for her with us while she continues to try to get her ducks in order for the trip out there. These are suggestions she might do until she is able to raise the funds to enter the program. Lyle Murphy is a real person. Who is lending his name to the cause:
    Dear Friend:
    In our conversations, you have mentioned multiple allergies and sensitivities. The gut tension you experience is a potential symptom of allergies, and the white coating on your tongue is likely Candida.
    When we have a happy, healthy gut flora, it helps us digest food and provides vitamins.
    When our gut flora is compromised, it allows for the presence of Candida. The healthy gut bacteria are like merchants living in body. You give them something, they give you something in return. Candida is like a barbarian, it only strips your nutrients and provides nothing. The gut flora provide a barrier between your food and your blood stream.Without this barrier, undigested food can readily enter the bloodstream, and set off an allergic reaction.
    The correction of this is going to be a bit of a process.
    I would suggest the following:
    Reduce carbs and sugars as low as possible. They feed the Candida.

    Do eat tolerable meats, free range or wild fish. Proteins should help.
    Try Chlorella and or Spirulina with waterand progressively increase the amounts. If that is well tolerated, try Green Vibrance, which has probiotics.
    Whichever is tolerated, try adding avocado, kale and celery, blended.
    Also add a 1-2 tablespoons of Carlson Lemon flavored Cod Liver oil.
    The Vitamin A will suppress the allergic response. After one month, decrease the cod liver oil to 5x/day. If Green Vibrance cannot be tolerated, you will still need to add probiotics to your regiment.
    The intent here is to reseed and promote a healthy gut flora, and provide some Alkalinity to your system. The green drink can be stimulating, and if so, should be taken with food, or added on a gradient.
    This is the first in possibly many steps I would suggest. Please let me know of the success or failure of this effort,
    Epsom salt baths would also be certain to give you a gentle sense of comfort. The sulfides pull toxins,
    And the Magnesium is absorbed through the skin.
    I look forward to working with you at Alternative to Meds Center, and encourage support from The Beyond Meds community. You are surrounded by an impressively knowledgeable group.
    Lyle Murphy
    Director, Alternatives to Meds Center

    If and when my friend is able to send me something from the library to post I will ask if she wants to share her name.
    Lastly if anyone still would like to help her get to the detox center where she will be cared for much more profoundly you can still donate. She is actually at risk of wandering right now and has gone off at night already, as the hepatic encephalopathy causes her to wander unconsciously. It’s almost like a sort of dementia and is caused by the benzos she has taken for many years. Her medical coverage being medicaid she is running into problems getting doctors to cooperate with her and treat her as something other than a psych patient and she’s had no continuity of care so she is having troubles getting the proper medical releases.







    _____________________________________
    So what about this withdrawal facility? Lyle Murphy, and the Scientology connection

    http://missionlocal.org/2009/04/nutritional-detox-facility-gets-walloped/
  7. Just a bit more...

    Many thanks to those who donated the other day
    June 11, 2010
    by giannakali
    I had to pay to get the ads off this site and so I did my first ever drive for funds for this blog. I did once do a fundraiser for a friend who was made homeless by withdrawal. She, by the way, is doing great. She finished her withdrawal, her story was written about in Robert Whitaker’s book and now she is regaining her health. She almost died due to organ involvement but now she is much healthier than I am. Thank god the body regenerates.
    Anyway. I figure I’m going to put out one more request for donations. Five people have donated almost $100 dollars. I’ve been doing this blog for three years. I still work on it a pretty much all my free time and it’s all I can really do from my bed. When I was healthier I worked 80 plus hours a week and answered hundreds of emails and comments that it generated.
    It’s been more than a full time job and while it’s my passion I also consider it my work. My life’s work. I know something else will grow out of this as I get well.
    So if you’d like to support what I do here is another chance. Our household also right now is gainfully unemployed and so it can really help us out too.
    Click on the funny looking link—the button doesn’t work:


    Remember my friend Amy who was close to death? She is now thriving

    November 18, 2010
    by giannakali
    I did a fundraiser for Amy here on this blog when she was homeless and close to death as a direct result of her use of psychotropic drugs. At that time I was accused of fabricating her for my own financial gain. Being that I was so ill and I was also worried my friend was going to die, it was a very painful time. Amy’s story is in Robert Whitaker’s book. Her astounding recovery, however is not. Here is a holiday note to her friends and family from the amazing woman that so many of you so generously helped make it across to the land of thriving with your donations. They made a massive difference at the time.
    Dear Friends and Family:
    I am writing to you today one year to the date of my first day without benzodiazepines and without psychiatric medication at all for the first time in 15 years and I have to say I would never have fathomed such tremendous healing in such a short period of time. On Nov. 16th, 2009, I took my last dose of poisonous, mind altering “medicine”.
    One year ago, I was 84 lbs., swarming with bed bugs, alone and barely able to walk one block. I was having hypnogogia or nightime auditory hallucinations due to the withdrawal, tremors, intense paranoia, ringing in my ears, extensive food allergies, derealization, severe memory loss, uncontrollable pacing and so many more symptoms I don’t even think about anymore. It’s all like a weird nightmare I only half remember. The only bits that remain are a thickened shell, a vast wealth of knowledge on the psychopharmaceutical complex and a more introverted personality. I have come to believe that our country as we hoped would come around in the days of the New Deal will not survive its capitalistic enterprise, but in terms of my mental health, I am better than I have been in many of the years on pills because I no longer have to deal with tolerance withdrawal or toxicity.
    Today I am 105 lbs., living with my partner, able to do much of what I used to physically (with some effect still on my endurance and now asthma, but 80% better) and working a part-time job that requires a high level of mental organization for The University of Michigan. A year ago I couldn’t even play a game of chess.
    Selena and I recently went down to NYC to fumigate for the bedbugs before moving into our new place. We then had a bed bug sniffing dog ensure we were bed bug free. I am still not convinced they are gone after a year and a half with the monsters. Any itch or bump to me is sure evidence they have followed, not to mention both my dog and Selena have dry skin and Bo may have picked up fleas at the boarders even though I treat him and I’m sure there are carpet beetles and dust mites here, so everyone is itching! I am vacuuming and packtiting 24/7 lol.
    But today I bought some basics in furniture. And decided to chill out just a little. If the buggers have come along, I decided, it’s not the end of the world. I beat the hardest addiction out there, faced death and came back to tell about it. Even if I lose everything I own, what consequence is it? We have so much more than we need, truly.
    My job is ok, it’s a living for now. It’s temporary until March so I’ll be looking for something else come the Spring, or heading back to school or taking the summer to do something new. For now, I am happy to have my dog, someone to share my life with, a padded chair to sit on, a string of purple garland, and, mostly, my life and my brain. I am lucky to have gotten away with so much of me still intact. There are so many out there drugged up with pyschoactive chemicals who are never so lucky. I pray for them daily.
    Come Christmas, when I become less paranoid about bugs, we may have a little suare at our place. But I hope to see all of you soon and hope you and yours are well this holiday season. Whether you are celebrating the coming of the son, the return of the sun or the endurance of light and truth, it is a magical time of year, and for the first time in three years, I will remember it well.
    Blessings~
    Amy

    -----------------------------------------------
    It appears that Monica "Beyond Meds" demanded an apology after her questionable fund raising efforts were exposed: I believe she got her wish fulfilled?
    [IMG]

    Is this a Public Apology? Fakeintology, alien abduction, Foo Foo Spa's, Victimization the other lean meat, Sex, Drugs, and Corporate Espionage Part 3

    A strange and bizarre chain of events has come to light in the past week or so which has made me realize I may be under the dooming influence of an evil alien “Xenu” warlord or lords of the “thetan” occupiers that may have indirectly visited our planet some 75 million years ago.
    Let me clarify that this has nothing at all to do with or does it relate to the Mother ship and Penguins that are in contrary opinion connected to a completely separate species in the galactic trailer park constellational system. I was actually hoping they would help me out here: but they are busy brewing up a batch of homemade purple beer and making their final plans for the takeover of our planet Dec 21st, 2012.

    So either indirectly or directly or obtusely I would like to apologize to the following people or inanimate objects: to my second grade teacher for throwing up all over my desk during a math test (big messy clean up), to all my relatives that still believe we have some cosmic genetic connection (being dropped off and abandoned on this planet so long ago, I needed to leach off of someone to get by dag nab it), to the unquiet fraud for picking on you with such verbosity, to Big Pharma and Psychiatry since they are just trying to squeak by on a measly few billion a year, to the 2007 dodge ball world champions for those unkind references I made about them looking so damned silly dressed up in varied spandex versions of monkey suits, to farm animals everywhere that have been humiliated on the pages of my blog dressed up in all kinds of pretty twisted garb while being displayed in precarious situations, to the -------- Zoo that refused me admission after learning about my mental health history, , to all the little people (gravity challenged folks) for thinking about saying things that may be considered/construed as non politically correct and disparaging, to my ex-girlfriends I want to apologizes for each and every blissful moment of pure organic pleasure I bestowed upon each of you, to every blog I have every read and commented on, {why didn’t you moderate your comments idiots), did I mention I apologize to Daisy the Cow yet? and finally to my friends/enemies located on my esteemed side bar ( life isn’t fair, deal with it!!) OK, done with all that groveling stuff and time to move on to bigger and more frolic of cantankerous repercussions.


    I just don’t know what has come over me to be quite dishonest? Here I was thinking some anonymous blog was using some questionable criteria in raising green stamp donations for an obviously dire situation; and then I was obnoxious and inquisitive enough to ask some pertinent and probative questions?
    I was said to have been contacted directly and was given a chance through correspondence to clarify my remarks and make an apology publicly do to a preponderance of evidence presented to me? {Please make me laugh some more!}.
    This was, is, and continues to be totally and completely untrue and a falsehood. I believe this was futile misdirect attempt to discredit my inquiries and the probative value of the aforementioned. Besides, anyone who knows me understands I would have posted that begging for an apology email attached with photos of said unidentified person in black leather garter belts dressed as a sheep! Baaah!
    I was also accused of creating an alternate reality, thirteen subservient multi-dimensional underworlds; an attack oriented discrediting web site, and a partridge in a pear tree. These allegations are certifiably false and a slander upon my pristine and honest in your face character traits. In other words, I don’t hide behind made up sites to confront others {what the heck}? I say, Why not have some real fun and blast em right here on this bastion of nonsense blog with a nonstop barrage of my well known refuted humor and tact?
    Little did I know this would be viewed as an indirect though indirectly direct indirect interpretation of my actions and the direct assault on an indirect target or someone’s loony tune character persona? From what I can surmise by their blatant and zealous rebuke I have received by numerous supporters of the aforementioned anonymous bloggery; they obvious got my college records/transcripts and were referring to my grade point average when they called me an A-Hole and various other accolades of flattering respect for my efforts here and about.
    I just love little quips’: I mean D cups shouldn’t hang so low that their easy pickin’! Muooo Moo! Singing “Don’t that make your brown beady eyes blue!”? My face beaming across a milk carton never had it so damned good don’t you thunk! You know what they say, a little make up, some lip gloss, and you appear almost normal on YouTube videos! Ready to go to dinner now Hon! *whoops* Daisy the cow and Dairy farmers association of America need an apology for that last off the cuff remark.


    I can’t tell you how much your ventricular intervention has moved me {time for a potty break already?}. In fact I moved all from the front door to where I am sitting now typing this alien and gizzard felt apology. I can’t say that this directly relates to my dog dying at 18 years old when I was a young lad, or those unnerving even and odd gas rationing days I spent waiting endlessly to just be turned away at the last moment.But what the frigging heck, I will indirectly thought directly blame them indirectly for those events even though I know they had nothing to do with them indirectly.
    I would also like to take this time to thank all those other peeps that shall remain super top secret that expressed to me in private email or other telepathic means their personal assessment that was directly in line with mine by indirect means. Those tiny few hundred ardent supporters, this Bud’s for you {CHEERS}
    I believe it’s time me for to just come out and say here; I am a Victim, Santa Claus, The tooth fairy, and the renownedGrinch on occasion! I must be getting worser and worser with each breath I take and can no longer continuing down this path of self destruction and loathing.
    For years I futilely fell under the brutal influence of psychiatry and all those drugs which have left me wounded beyond all rational penguin comprehension. Then I cast this absurd modality aside like a bad broken down old used car, double knit polyester bell bottoms, and got what I believed at the time was new clean and pure outlook on this life experience. I now must admit here I have failed, do to those bastard “Xenu” alien bullies.
    I have tried in earnest to keep my biometric and barometric neuron aerobic chemicals in check through countless ingenious manipulations of my neuropathic measurements related to a nasty Gut toxicity and ordained melancholy life style which in turn has polluted my precious bodily fluids beyond the point where total and complete recovery is possible or can be hoped for.Basically, I’m throwing in the towel and running home crying to Mommy!
    Yet, all those nights dancing around in my pink tutu swinging from the chandeliers singing “I’m so pretty, so very pretty, the prettiest by far” has really just opened up old doors to the true underlying cause of my horrible Disease and demise.
    To think I have indirectly through indirect channels directly by indirectly expressing opinions, have allowed others to internalize indirectly the obtuse direct assumptions of indirect reflection sublimely upon direct suffering of indirect means. So I guess directly some form of apology is in order; indirectly of course.
    For now while I am seeking expert opinions and misdirection from well known journalist and authors I have decided to take the following actions.
    First off I plan to SHUT DOWN THIS BLOG for a well deserved rest for exactly one hour starting one full hour ago. {WHOO HOO! I feel almost awake and alive now!}
    Next, I plan to limit all my posting here on this blog to less than 100 hours per week I spend slaving and sweating over this keyboard trying to make each of your lives richer and in feeding my bottomless ego.
    Because of the complete exhaustion I’m experiencing at this time. (I know I may appear ok, happy go lucky, and bouncing off the walls with energy; but this deep never ending suffering I feel torments me beyond all comprehension. So I choose to do homage in the quiet confines of a dark closet wrapped in duct tape, when I’m not so damned busy living life and writing here).
    I would like to ask for some guest blogging support, and that some writers/authors would stumble or step forth in helping me keep this blog alive and active with meaningless content; while I’m away on vacation sucking down large amounts of alcohol! WHOOPS!!!! I mean when I’m away seeking redirection in my life through therapeutic means.
    No more 8 shot Starbucks mega caffeine fixes three times a day for this bad puppy. Nope, no more than two mega jolts a day and a wet finger in a wall socket from now on.
    Now if I don’t make around to your blog or am unable to respond to post/comments/or hate mail here; please be patient and understanding! I’m trying to do ten posts a day while not writing, and I have some pesky alien demons I’m dealing with at the moment. Just fill in the blanks in the comment section with indirect innuendo and I will get around to responding in due time if only fractiously. Thank you!
    Now taking on the task of the world’s greatest living victim isn’t easy damn it; so please offer any suggestions you may have in fulfilling this evil alien prophecy blank chalk board. An acting coach could help? And so would a nice professional camera with lighting equipment and a horror movie makeup artist; for my upcoming You-Tube channel debut would also be a nice addition and much appreciated.
    Now I plan to stay totally non-profit for now {though in the future I would like to purchase a domain and charge people to view my personal freak show with some outrageous fee per month}.
    As far a fund raiser to send me to some “fancy FOO FOO coddle me spa” for a few months goes: I will rely on my loyal followers and minions to be creative in those endeavors. Please remember that I’m getting worser and worser by the moment people!
    Just last week I filled out an entrance application for a mini marathon, and now today I feel so distraught and weakened I could hardly play full court basketball for more than three hours straight without a big drink of water and a cold brewski.
    I know there are many of you out there in cyber land thinking to yourselves “He doesn’t appear as bad off as others”. Just stop that type of Blasphemy; I don’t give a flying quack quack about them. This is all about me dang it. Those that might question my motives or disagree with my absurd assumptions in any way, shape, or form will be banned from commenting here, and I promise I will not like you anymore either.
    It’s definitely and affirmed that it’s my way or the HWY folks! {That’s my new Blog motto and creed from now on all my naive and humble followers of the Lite and less filling beer or my dietetics special organic poison Kool-Aid}
    I called a “FOO FOO GOO GOO HOO HOO Rehab/Detox Spa” to see if they could run my plasmas materials through a neutron particle deployment analyzer to see if my Swing was not in harmonious bliss with my Swoo, which could in turn create a chemical imbalance in the Ying throwing my Yang into crazy robot orbit.
    They quoted me quite a deal @ $19,550 dollars for the first month or until I declared bankruptcy after that on a weekly pro-rated basis. I asked if they would throw in a PET scam and MRI with special pixy dust die injected into the cerebellum to see if they could see those “Xenu” warlords running around inside my cerebral cortex; but they stated that was extra and not covered by my nonexistent health insurance coverage.
    Can I never catch a break?
    I’m thinking I could do a Pitch to CBS for “Psychiatric Survivor – the real deal” for next season; since that regular Survivor viewership has dropped off some since that Afghanistan debacle. I’m sure I could hood-wink enough hard cash for a few weeks in FOO FOO land anyhow.
    Anywise I started to check into this “FOO FOO” Spa and found out they were directly indirectly connected to Fakeintology. So I was wondering deep within? Was this a front for Fakeintology or on the up and up and really a cult worth investing in?
    The neighbors were indirectly complaining of strange air craft with bright colored lights beaming into their windows at night around this facility; and directly voted against it having a drivers permit or handicapped parking space within their jurisdiction. They even called in the state pest control people to examine indirectly if they were following proper interstellar protocols. The SF Crock-In-Bull Times confirmed this indirectly is recent news reporting and articles that could be true or not depending upon your personal level of delusional sensory hallucinations and that horoscope, mood ring, tea leaf, palm reading hocus pocus abracadabra of real hard unquestioned irrefutable science.
    I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to hide that they were Fakeintologist or a front group for them? I mean if you believe earth worms our taking over our cities through a maze of underground tunnels and networks, then you would think you’d want everyone to know the truth and see the bright probing lights shining in their eyes.
    I guess it’s all about making money and some nasty bad press they indirectly may have been receiving that is unconfirmed and not fact or speculation.
    Please keep sending me that heartfelt hate mail, threats to kidnap my teddy bear and hold it for ransom, and kind thoughts reflecting about my unplanned afterlife wake: and I will keep praying for each of you locked up inside my suffering victimized closet of never-ending suffering and getting worser by the moment existence.
    Now I believe it’s your turn and opportunity to apologize begging at my stinky unwashed toes saying “I’m SOREWEE! CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG”
    Your support and comments are always welcome here; and will be edited according to unstated policy and my articulating puffed up mood at this or that particular moment which will indirectly in direct ways influence my always indirect blunt responses.
    Added Disclaimer not shown upon side bar:
    This post was in written in the spirit of satirical fun and was intended for entertainment purposes and to just about insult everyone reading it. If you feel you were personally singled out and maligned; please get over your paranoia and move on. If you happened to feel that you have been singled out by not receiving enough demeaning commentary indirectly directed toward you personally. Please go away and don’t come back you low life scum sucking slime ball and maggot of no consequence, importance, or value.
  8. Anonymous Member

    If she was ever a clam, I'd think they would keep her at a good arms length, a bit like Babbels Schwartz. She's obviously not playing with the same deck of cards as the rest of us.
    • Like Like x 1

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