"Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

Discussion in 'Think Tank' started by Anonymous, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. Anonymous Member

    "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    In the last 2 weeks there have been stories saying Justin Bieber was joining Scientology. Now the story is Lindsy Lohan is joining Scientology.

    Could we do a generator that produces a news story saying that "insert name" has joined Scientology.

    They just type the name of the person into the "name" field, hit the enter button, and hey presto, another (bullshit) "celebrity joins scientology" news story.
  2. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

  3. Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Goatse has joined Scientology
  4. exOT8Michael Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    You mean celeb asshole has joined Scientology? That is pretty generic...
  5. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Because these stories are either made up bullshit or scilon propaganda pieces.

    Next time one of these stories appears, and the writers are sceptical(which happened with the Bieber story), they can provide a link to the "celeb joins scientology story generator".

    This is the sort of thing that gets posted around forums for fun as well, which is more traffic that can be "educated".
  6. lokimotion Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Is there a real benefit in generating false stories about celebs who have not join.
  7. RightOn Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Carrot Top joined Scientology?
  8. another123 Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    You could try one of these many generators:
  9. Anonymous Member

  10. wackomoose Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    YES !!!

    yes it still seems appropriate and

    some what anonymous !!1!11!
  11. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    - Many are called but only a few idiots with money are needed (preferably celebrities)
  12. Anonymous Member

    Pope joins Scientology

    Pope Benedict XVI, the primate of the Catholic Church, announced today that he has joined Scientology.

    The Pope, impressed with the compatibility of Scientology with all religions, reported that he is enjoying the life of a "pre-clear" and has already shouted at an ash tray, but with, as yet, no appreciable results.

    In other news, the Vatican has reportedly filed for bankruptcy. "The Pope has been donating a great deal of money to support religious technology and human rights, particularly the extermination of psychs", said Mr Tommy Davis, a Vatican spokesperson.
  13. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Oh, put that on RantRave, please.
  14. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Anonymous joins Scientology. I actually like this idea, we should make our own propogand and BlackPR anyway, CoS does it.

    "It is found out that OT9 enables supreme child molesting abilities, back in 2006 kittens were repeatedly huffed"

    "Anonymous are funded by the Illuminati"
  15. Ann O'Nymous Member

    Re: Pope joins Scientology

    My 2 cents: an automatic generator would loose its interest rather quickly. But funny stories - in the line of the one above - and informative ones - highlighting some little known facts about scientology - if well written could have some success, IMHO.
  16. Anonymous Member

    Re: Pope joins Scientology

    As he should have long ago. I cannot wait until Pope Benedict reaches OT III. He will thank Hubbard for researching the tech and making it available to paying members.
  17. Major Boyle Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Obama plans to join Scientology. Trufax. And a media shitstorm would ensue.
  18. RolandRB Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    And make sure you charge the media big money to publish this sort of news.
  19. Anonymous Member

  20. theprofitlrh Member

    Re: Pope joins Scientology

    I like this idea. Should we have a special thread for it like we do for David Miscavige Shoops.
    It could be a lot of fun getting people to tweet or send them to each other.

    just thinking -
    Justin Bieber says "i'm only gonna give my virginity to a Scientology girl"
    Justin Bieber says "In a past life i was an alien"
    Justin Bieber says "i want to be a success, just like Tom Cruise"
    Justin Bieber says "Scientology said they can cure my homosexuality"
  21. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Kick ass! Go forth and start the thread it'll be fantastic!

    Fred Phelps says "Xenu hates aliens."
  22. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    Joran Van Der Sloot Joins Scientology
  23. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

  24. Anonymous Member

    Re: "Celebrity joins Scientology" story generator idea

    From the Black Ops Dept.

    This is a good example of using spoof stories to inform people about Sci.

    I found this story from doing a google news search for scientology

    OBAMA IS XENU | Weekly World News

    Posted on Friday, August 20th, 2010
    By Frank Lake

    WASHINGTON – The White House drops a bombshell. President Obama is Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy.
    Amid the growing controversy about the mosque being built at Ground Zero and in light of the 24% of Americans that believe President Obama is a Muslim, the White House decided to finally reveal the truth about the President’s religion – and identity.

    “He is a Scientologist,” White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters at this morning’s briefing. “And he is not just any average Scientologist; President Obama is Xenu, an alien dictator who brought billions of his people to Earth in a spacecraft 75 million years ago. He stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs. That’s the story of human life on earth.”

    A stunned White House Press Corps fired questions at Gibbs, but he dismissed them all with this statement, “I’m sorry, I can’t answer your questions anymore, because you are not clear. When you all get clear, then I can talk to you, until then… forget it. You are all psychology damaged. Read Dianetics. That’ll get you started.”

    The Church of Scientology would not comment on whether President Obama is a Scientologist and has repeatedly denied the Xenu story. “President Obama chooses to worship the alien of his choice. We can not confirm or deny that he is a member of our church,” said a person who seems to know people in Scientology but was afraid to state his name because he felt that he may get sued and/or sent to Planet Zeeba.

    Even though The Church of Scientology denies that President Obama is a member, Gibbs said that Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley would be joining President Obama and the First Family on their vacation to Martha’s Vineyard. “They are having a meeting with the Sea Org on the Kennedy family yacht,” Gibbs said.

    “We told you he wasn’t born in Hawaii,” yelled a rabid Orly Taiz, the head of the Birther Movement. “That’s why he doesn’t have a birth certificate. He’s an alien!” Orly Taiz is now starting a new movement; the Barack Obama is an Alien movement. Robert Gibbs is starting another movement, Orly Taiz is an alien. “Orly and President Obama were enemies on Planet Zeeba, 50 million ago. Orly holds a grudge for a long time.”

    The story of Xenu (Obama) is part of Scientology’s secret “Advanced Technology” doctrines taught only to advanced members who have undergone many expensive hours of auditing and reached the state of Clear. It is dramatized in Revolt in the Stars, a screenplay written by L. Ron Hubbard in 1977.

    Hubbard wrote that Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy. 75 million years ago it consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including Earth, which was then known as “Teegeeack”. The planets were overpopulated, with an average population of 178 billion. The Galactic Confederacy’s civilization was comparable to our own, with aliens walking around in clothes and using cars similar to those on Earth in 1961.

    Coincidentally, 1961 was the year that Obama was “born.”

    Xenu was about to be deposed from power, so he devised a plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. With the assistance of psychiatrists, he summoned billions of his citizens together under the pretense of income tax inspections, then paralyzed them and froze them in a mixture of alcohol and glycol to capture their souls. The kidnapped populace was loaded into spacecraft for transport to the site of extermination – Teegeeack.

    This morning, President Obama announced his solution to the mosque controversy, “Instead of a mosque, we will be building a large three-block Scientology Spiritual Center. Who can object to that?”

    The President said that from now on all citizens on Teegeeack shall call him – Xenu, Galactic Dictator. All Hail, Xenu!

    Here’s Tom Cruise talking about Scientology. “You’re either on board, or you are not on board.”


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