Anonymous Advice Column

Most important is making the lie big enough.

I just added a new kitten to my homies, a rowdy dog and a alpha male cat. Its a tiny girl kitten. Any advice on socializing the group?

The best way to lie is to make sure what you say is not the truth. Besides it being 'out there' it makes a lyer out of you when you claim you're lying.

My sentiments exactly.

How do I decide what kind of car to buy, used Mustang or used Dodge Dart? The dart is 1999 an the Mustang 20 years older

Is this car you wanna drive, or just live in, until the estate is renovated?

For some, the 70s sucked less than the 90s. I agree, it's a tough choice to make, even for just a place to live.

You going to turn down a 1979 Mustang? It was the ugly years, but that sucker will appreciate more than a Dodge Dart.

Dear Anon:

I have someone who keeps trying to dox me online. I think they have a crush on me. They think I am a girl, but I am really a boy. What should I do?

Put them all in the crate together for 12 hours with no food. They'll figure it out themselves.

The southern hemisphere got Darts from Malaysia in 1999.

All of them migrated to the South Pole.

GTFO Ukraine before they kill you?

Dear Anon:

Despite my best efforts to deny reality, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that my life is boring as hell. How can I be edgy again without going to jail?

Sincerely,
Jumped the Shark

^
132 hours from now, you will have so much work to do, you won't have time to think about such things.

What is going on here? You all need advice? Ask moo moo.

You need advice?
I am a cow and i give more than milk.

No mOO-moo-ing?

sad.

Oh. Ok. Keep calm. Contact someone at Skype or Vimeo. There is most likely a rule that they have to take it down if you say you don't want it there.

Don't worry. Its New York. Thousands of people. Your description of yourself seams average. You blend right in. Just carry pepper spray. Or a taser. Or a gun.

50/50 chance.