Hi All! I'm a former cult member (not CO$) and I'm writing a couple articles on cults in general; while I was doing this, these lyrics attached themselves to an old favorite and, well, I thought I'd offer it to you all as something that might be fun and even effective to sing at your next protest. Everyone knows the tune, and the verses can be adjusted, as marked below. DISCLAIMER: of course, I don't own the tune. At this point, I'd argue that it belongs to all of humanity, just like Freddy Mercury. Here's the video (sorry, but the thumbnail *does* make me look totally insane, I know). Here's the lyrics, if you wanna sing along (to the tune of "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen): Let me tell you all a little tale ‘bout a group I think you know, They say that they’ve been growing now for over 60 years or so, They say that they are doing fine, that everything is cool, Well, sorry, Dave, but facts don’t lie, and you’re lookin’ like a fool, cause Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org And another one free, and another one free, Another one leaves the Org, *Davey, whatcha gonna do? another leaves the Org, and Tick, tock, tick Tick, tock, tick Those member dues are paying for a life of luxury, Private jets and tailored suits and shoes from Italy, While Sea Org members starve and slave he parties ‘round with Tom, Enjoy it, Davey, while it lasts, ‘coz Justice is a bomb, and it goes: Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org And another one free, and another one free, Another one leaves the Org, *Hey, Sea Org, we’re here to rescue you! another leaves the Org, and Tick, tock, tick Tick, tock, tick Abortions forced on young adults, and rampant suicide Double talk and mind control come standard for this ride And to the stars that write the checks and still refuse to see, When it finally hits the fan, can you say “complicity?”, coz Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org And another one free, and another one free, Another one leaves the Org, *Bono! Nancy! Jenna! WAKE UP! another leaves the Org, and Tick, tock, tick Tick, tock, tick The “inchwives” say just what they’re told, and cry those croc’dile tears, But anyone in the Sea Org knows, you don’t see your spouse for years. They they’d never ever see their kids, if they didn’t say their lines, Or even worse, they’d go t’be with Shelly, who we hear is doing “fine,” but Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org And another one free, and another one free, Another one leaves the Org, *Hey, OSA! you better listen, up! another leaves the Org, and Tick, tock, tick Tick, tock, tick Little Davey, better say your prayers, you better hide up in your room, ‘Coz you can’t stop the march of time from bringing in your doom, Lies can only last so long, and one day they’ll come for you, And I’ll be cheering right along with everyone who ever blew, ‘coz Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org Tick, tock, tick Another one leaves the Org And another one free, and another one free, Another one leaves the Org, *Hey Davey, ya know Karma sucks! another leaves the Org, and Tick, tock, tick Tick, tock, tick The lines marked with asterisks (*) in the chorus can be altered to suit, e.g. “Hey [name of friend still in Sea Org], we’ll be here for you!”, or “Hey [name of Celebrity Scientologist], open up your eyes!”, or even “Sorry, Tom [or Kirstie], we don’t want you," or, my personal fave, "Monique Yingling, this one's for you [raise middle finger]."
awwww, shoot. It's been done before.... oh, well...better that more people do it than not enough, eh? thanks for the heads up.
Interesting that you have a strong musical background. I lack a strong musical background, but, I've been working on crafting a song by Roy Orbison, Only The Lonely, into something by L. Ron Hubbard, called Only Baloney. Here are the Orbison Lyrics: Roy Orbison – Only The Lonely Lyrics (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah, ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah) (Oh, oh oh oh oh ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely, only the lonely) Only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Know the way I feel tonight (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah) Only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Know this feeling ain't right (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) There goes my baby, there goes my heart They're gone forever, so far apart But only the lonely know wh-why-why I cry, only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah, ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah) (Oh, oh oh oh oh ooh-ah-ah, only the lonely, only the lonely) Only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Know the heartaches I've been through (Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah Only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Know I cry and cry for you (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Maybe tomorrow a new romance No-o-o more sorrow, but that's the chance You've got to take, if your lonely heart breaks Only the lonely (Dum-dumb-dummy doo-wah) Songwriters: Orbison, Roy/ Melson Joe Only The Lonely lyrics © Roy Orbison Music Company, Barbara Orbison Music Company, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC "Only The Lonely (Know How I Feel)" Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah Ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh-wah Only the lonely Only the lonely Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know the way I feel tonight (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah) Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know this feeling ain't right (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) There goes my baby There goes my heart They're gone forever So far apart But only the lonely Know why I cry Only the lonely Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah Ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh-wah Only the lonely Only the lonely Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know the heartaches I've been through (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah) Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know I cry and cry for you (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Maybe tomorrow A new romance No more sorrow But that's the chance You gotta take If your lonely heart breaks Only the lonely Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah ___________________________ And here is what I have crafted so far... Only Baloney - By LRH Only Baloney It’s All I Ever Wrote Only Baloney It brings a frog into my throat, What I remember, most of the time is broken down typewriters covered in slime. Only Baloney Is what I eat Most of the time... ________________ This is as far as I've gone with the challenge. Perhaps you can offer some advice and/or add some of the lyrics.
unfortunately, I don't know the song well enough - but I like what you've got here. My best advice is to sing the song to yourself over and over again, with your lyrics. The best versions will be the ones where you change the least words, and I always try to keep to the same amount of syllables (though sometimes you can fudge this). Good luck!
If only the birds with the most beautiful voices were allowed to sing, the forest would be a very quiet place. Sing on the protesting bard.
I've been using re-written songs for years, it just comes naturally, and instead of keeping as much as you can, try replacing everything, except the tune and structure of course. I have observed that many fail in this because they don't pay attention to the meter (and syllables count), and cannot rhyme worth shit in the right places. Somewhere around here or the archives are a bunch of x-mas carols, if ya find them you'll see what I mean, pretty frikken funny stuff too. Keep doing whatcher doing, it was good fun, and, I think, um, torture me some more! (jkjk, talent, ya gots it, use it!) Cheers & Welcome! Some of the best anti-sci tunes, enjoy and spread em' around imho. ~ http://sonichits.com/artist/Enturbulator_009 http://sonichits.com/artist/Enturbulator_009 Edit~ This is an awesome copy, crank it up!!! Access to more tunes here, but beware of possible ad-bots etc., really good copies though http://crimjob.tripod.com/rimjob.mp3
hmmmm.... interesting difference of approach! It just goes to show that there's more than one way to skin the proverbial cat! I find if I keep as many words as possible, it creates a framework that the listener can hook onto to give it an extra dimension of humor - however, I will concede that this seriously limits one's lyric choices, and yes, for an unskilled spoofer, it will lead one into traps. Salute!
Here's something that might catch your interest: L. Ron Hubbard Had A Cult - (Sung as Old MacDonald Had A Farm) L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had some clams, Epic PR FAIL! With a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had some tech, Epic PR FAIL! With some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had some bats, Epic PR FAIL! With a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had a bridge, Epic PR FAIL With a cult bridge here, and a cult bridge there, here a bridge, there a bridge, everywhere a cult bridge, and a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had some clears, Epic PR FAIL! With a cult clear here, and a cult clear there, here a clear there a clear, everywhere a cult clear, and a cult bridge here, and a cult bridge there, here a bridge, there a bridge, everywhere a cult bridge, and a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had some meters, Epic PR FAIL! With an e-meter here, and an e-meter there, here a meter there a meter, everywhere an e-meter, and a cult clear here, and a cult clear there, here a clear there a clear, everywhere a cult clear, and a cult bridge here, and a cult bridge there, here a bridge, there a bridge, everywhere a cult bridge, and a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had engrams, Epic PR FAIL! With an engram here, an engram there, here an engram there an engram, everywhere an engram, and an e-meter here, and an e-meter there, here a meter there a meter, everywhere an e-meter, and a cult clear here, and a cult clear there, here a clear there a clear, everywhere a cult clear, and a cult bridge here, and a cult bridge there, here a bridge, there a bridge, everywhere a cult bridge, and a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, L. Ron Hubbard had a cult, Epic PR FAIL! And in this cult he had a dwarf, A Shit Heap Full Of FAIL! With a cult dwarf here, a cult dwarf there, here a dwarf there a dwarf, everywhere a cult dwarf, and an engram here, and an engram there, here an engram there an engram, everywhere an engram, and an e-meter here, and an e-meter there, here a meter there a meter, everywhere an e-meter, and a cult clear here, and a cult clear there, here a clear there a clear, everywhere a cult clear, and a cult bridge here, and a cult bridge there, here a bridge, there a bridge, everywhere a cult bridge, and a moonbat here, and a moonbat there, here a bat, there a bat, everywhere a moonbat, and a cult clam here, and a cult clam there, here a clam there a clam, everywhere a cult clam, and some cult tech here, and some cult tech there, here a tech there a tech, everywhere a cult tech, Speed Freak Hubbard had a cult, a shit heap full of FAIL! And in this cult he had sec checks, a shit heap full of FAIL! (It has several more choruses. If you want the whole piece, let me know, and I'll upload it to MediaFire).
Oh, I LOVE this! Please DO send me the whole thing... and may I include it (crediting you or the responsible S.P., of course) in an upcoming Protest Songbook I'm currently creating for community use? Hugs!
I'll get a ZIP package organized for you. Yeah, credit to a WWP SP is okay. I wish I knew an a cappella SP Choir that would take it on. Could be a hit!
